Tag Archives: mother

5 Easy Tips to Help Lighten Your Load

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Being Mother’s full time caregiver was often difficult work, filled with daily challenges. It took all the energies and resources I had available and then some. It changed my priorities, it tied me down and wore me out; it could seem to be a thankless job.

Can you relate? Are the tasks looming before you overwhelming at times?  Do you wish for help only to find the help was inadequate at best? Do you often feel you would have been better off to do the work yourself although you know you cannot do it all.

Like water heating in a teakettle; these feelings can quickly boil and soon break out into unkind words or actions if not held at bay. (I speak from experience here).

There are no easy answers or quick-fixes. People in each situation are different; circumstances vary; needs versus wants must be defined for your particular responsibilities.

Here are five simple ideas that helped me cope when the load seemed too heavy to carry.

#1 Breathe. Too simple? Not really! When you feel stress coming, stop long enough to look away from the situation and breathe deeply. Stand up tall, close your eyes and breathe in for five counts through your nose. Hold that a few seconds, then slowly breathe out through your mouth. Relax, repeat.

#2 Hum or sing a little bit. I confess I am not a singer (my entire family will agree). However, when things got really tough with Momma, I would sing softly, “Jesus loves me, this I know … “as I continued my work. Even today when life gets crazy around me, I softly sing that song and my spirit quiets inside.

#3 Exercise. Even when you feel you cannot do any exercise—no time, energy or ability—you can do something. A very simple stretch works wonders. Stand on tip toes behind a chair for balance and slowly lower and raise your body. Reach for the stars, one hand, then the other, then both. A few minutes every hour or so will help keep your blood flowing and your body limber.

#4 Write. Keep a notebook handy to jot down your feelings—good and not so good. Let all that anger flow from your brain through your fingers and onto the page. Don’t fail to find something good to write down about the one you are caring for and about yourself.

#5 Smile. Now, I know this suggestion sounds a little misplaced. Just try it, look in the mirror and smile—big, big cheesy grin. You tried it and giggled, didn’t you? Laughter IS the best medicine!

Perhaps caring for someone can be a thankless job and overwhelming at times. But truthfully,  it is foremost a fantastic blessing, an opportunity to be Jesus’ hands and feet to someone. It’s a privilege, an awesome responsibility, an opportunity to encourage, to make a hurting soul feel happy and loved. The ability to care is a gift from God.

“Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need! He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet streams. He gives me new strength. He helps me do what honors him the most.” (Psalm 23:1-3, TLB).

Blessings and hugs to you as you care for others,

Some thoughts taken from MY MOTHER MY CHILD available on this website.

Vital Information Not Just for Caregivers

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Are you familiar with these terms: Durable Power of Attorney? Health Care Directive? Advanced Directives? What is the difference between a Living Will and a Health Care Directive? Have you made end of life decisions for yourself as well as your family (all ages)? Are they up-to-date? Does the physician and hospital have copies?

We are often careful to make sure these things are in place for the elderly; for those in our care. However, every day we hear of accidents, crimes, and illnesses with no respect to age or infirmity. Suppose you or a loved one faces a major crises; have decisions been made before hand concerning the wishes of the individual?

Recently I attended an End of Life Seminar presented by a Hospital Hospice Group. Every individual should attend such a conference. In our state of Missouri, hospice groups not only provide for the individual nearing death, they provide needed resources for the client and family. They are equipped to answer concerns about financial needs and grief counseling. Hospice is also suited for dealing with pain; it is what they do on a regular basis and they are very good at it.

Only when you are no longer able to make or communicate your decisions does your advance directive go into effect. Generally it is effective until the time of your death and is valid in another state, especially if it is both notarized and witnessed. The right to make an advance directive has been constitutionally affirmed. Healthcare providers have both legal and ethical duties to respect the patient’s wishes.

I know from personal experience, even knowing Mother’s wishes, it is often difficult to let them go when that time comes. We want to hold on to our loved ones as long as possible. Let me give you a sentence to hold on to that will help you immensely in that situation: It is not about you or me, it is about them. Remember their desires and honor what the patient wanted as much as possible.

In this short article, it is impossible to address these issues in depth. I am hoping I will have perked your interest enough to seek out some help and make sure these things are in place for yourself, your client, and your family. Contact your local hospice groups for direction and help. Many of these issues can be handled safely and legally through local agencies without the cost of attorneys. Be sure you know your state’s requirements.

I believe the most important end of life issue was settled on the cross. For myself, I know where I am going and Jesus paid the price. I’m thankful for the peace that promise brings. I would like to simply close my eyes some night and open them in the arms of the Lord but that is not mine to determine. However, I want to do all I can to make my leaving easier for those who will care for me in the end. I hope this article will be of help to you.

Hugs and Blessings,

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Family Friend Neighbor Caregiver Who am I

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I have met some of the most amazing professional caregivers. They have given time and more energy than I could  ever muster to care for others. Their patience seems in constant supply– their knowledge of what to do in any circumstance is unbelievable.

I am not one of those! Never have been, never will be. When I began my caregiving website, I fought it because “I wasn’t a real caregiver.” I am amazed at what is now available and want others to know. We need each other!

There are more than 65 million Family Caregivers in this country who work day in and day out to provide care as no “outsider” could. They often work other jobs; have children and parents to care for at the same time; struggle with lack of finances and health issues of their own. Most have no previous experience apart from life experiences as they grew into adulthood.

Are you one of those? Do you know others who are?

November is National Family Caregivers Month. It’s a great time to reflect on your personal caregiving journey and, at the same time, to find ways to encourage others who are caring for friends and family.

Ask God to give you a sensitive spirit toward the needs of others even as you struggle with your own needs. If you are a caregiver yourself, you may not feel you can spare the time or energy to reach out to help another. I have found that in my busiest, most hectic days, there was always time to pray for someone else. That is the first step; open your eyes and heart and look for others who could use a prayer. Taking a few minutes to pray, call, or send a card moves the focus from self to others and tends to multiply your time.

The internet is overloaded with free helps.  Consider encouraging a non-computer caregiver with an article on some issue they may be facing. My favorite site is www.familycaregiving101.com for dozens of free articles. I will soon provide more great sites to explore.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

“We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.’ Ephesians 2:10

In your weary moments, I pray you’ll never lose sight of the fact that you are a very special and unique creation.  Blessings to you as you continue to share the wonder of God’s love with others.

Hugs,

P.S.  Click the button at the upper right corner of my website at www.susiekinslowadams.com and sign up for the newsletter; it will be helpful to you.  I welcome your comments and questions. Have a blessed week.