Tag Archives: mother

Mother Caregiver Friend A Solution to Time Management

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Are you a mother? Grandmother? Caregiver? Elderly? Young? Stressed to the max?

Do you, as I do, find it difficult—impossible—to visit everyone you need to? Are your daily task  lists getting longer instead of shorter?

Does a day’s end find you longing for a Days Inn to seek refuge?

Two months ago my husband and I found ourselves locked into schedules even a younger person could not handle. Guilt weighed heavy on our shoulders and we were burdened for those we had no time to care for.

We began daily asking God to make our appointments for us; to literally put us where we needed to be, when we needed to be there in order to follow His schedule for our lives.

At the same time, we looked at our calendars and realized some “important” commitments could be adjusted, if not eliminated. We waited for God to show us His plan.  As I reflect on this day (Sunday) I realize it  paints a vivid picture of God’s plan versus our plan.

My husband, Russell, is Director of Missions in Dallas County (MO). This morning as he supplied the pulpit in one of our churches, we learned one of their members was admitted to the hospital, in ICU with heart problems and would welcome a minister’s visit.

Choosing to go the hospital after church meant we had to cancel plans to attend an ordination service in another church. This was a young man we had seen grow up and follow the Lord’s leading. We were close to his family and his wife’s family as well; it was a difficult decision.

At the hospital the patient was alone in the room and very pleased to have company and prayer support. Car trouble had left his family stranded on their way to the hospital so Russell’s visit was very timely.

Later, in the cafeteria, we felt sure God had arranged appointments for us:

1.      We met an elderly man and his caregiving daughter and shared some special thoughts with them. We gave her a copy of My Mother My Child followed by tears and hugs as we praised God for His direction.

2.      We both hugged on a senior widow who had suffered two light strokes and needed encouragement from friends. Neither she nor us had been to that restaurant in months but “just happened” to be there at the same time on this day.

3.      I listened and wept with a lady as she confronted some issues regarding a future testimony in her church. As we talked, we prayed for wisdom and God’s direction and His peace in her life. Our lives were both enriched as only friends can be as they share honestly with one another. We vowed to pray specifically for each other on our upcoming ministries.

4.      My husband and another pastor openly shared concerns and praises as they renewed a friendship and recounted how God had been at work in marvelous ways.

We were home in time for a nap before evening church but were too wound up to rest. Off to church now—wonder what God has in store for the rest of our day.

Proverbs 3:5-6 admonishes us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”

I hope you are allowing God to plan your day. His schedule is amazing!

Hugs,

PS. An old friend “just happened” to show up at church for evening worship—more hugs and laughs and praises! Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter (upper right hand corner of page); I’ll look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maintaining Strength and Energy as We Grow Older

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It is a longer walk to our bathroom than I recall, and I know someone shortened the ceiling fan cord. The floor is a longer stretch than it used to be; my back will not let me bend that far! I attempted to  pick up a paper but could not reach it.

Can you relate? Whether you are living by yourself, caring for family, or a full-time caregiver, you know the value of keeping your muscles strong so you can remain independent as much as possible.

As we grow older, it becomes more important to take care to maintain our muscle strength. My muscles can use a lot of help but the thought of an exercise regime is out of the question.

Truthfully, I do not have time to go to a gym or watch a video for thirty minutes of uninterrupted exercise.

Besides that, I am tired. I wake up in the morning and jump right into the day’s work schedule. By nightfall, I am ready to hit the bed; exercise is the farthest thing from my mind.

Here are five easy steps that have helped me improve mobility and gain muscle strength. Please don’t dismiss them as too easy to make a change in my life; I will tell you, “you will see a change and you will feel it.”

1. Be conscious of how you handle your body at all times.

Have you formed a habit of slumping when you sit? Do you waddle from side to side when you walk, again from habit? Are you continually stepping over items that need picked up because you can’t or won’t stoop over to get them?

Take time to stop and think about your daily habits.  Stand tall when you walk, you will actually feel more rested as your posture improves. Make it a habit to bend over as much as you can to pick up items. Sit straight in a chair and breathe deeply. Even if this lasts only a few minutes, you will begin to build strength.

2. Seek better parking spaces for health’s sake.

At the local store, I want the parking place that is as close to the door as you can get. Of course, I rationalize that I need to park close to save time.  Let’s be honest, how much time does it take to walk a few extra parking spaces, or even half the parking lot? When I began this way of thinking, I could not walk the entire lot, or even half of it. I knew I could walk one or two more spaces, and that is where I began. Now I can go farther than I ever dreamed; just by adding a few steps at a time.

The truth of the matter is: that the more time “saved” by denying a little extra walk, the more time needed to rest. Just park a few spaces away at first.

4. Choose movement while you are waiting.

When you are warming something in the microwave, for instance, are you leaning against the cabinet or slipping into a nearby chair? Consider using that time for a few stretches or arm lifts. Keep weights or a couple of cans of food handy so you can grab them and do a one or two minute workout. At the very least, do a few squats and bends.

I have personally been amazed at the flexibility I have gained without adding a long exercise routine to my day.

5. Consider the mobility consequences when making a change in equipment.

Are you considering a lift chair for the one you are caring for or for yourself? They are life-savers for many people who simply cannot get up without them. However, do you really need all that help or would a simple boost be all you need?

It was only after we had difficulty fitting Mother in a lift chair that we discovered the power seat option. Instead of relying on a chair to completely move her to a standing position, we used the power seat. This gave her the boost she needed to stand safely while she still needed her strength and mobility to hold on to her chair and finish standing up to her walker. It was safe and easy to adjust to her needs, and helped her maintain muscular strength in her legs.

What small changes can you make in your life today that will affect your future health and well-being? Of these three simple steps, I challenge you to choose one, just one, and focus on that for a week. As that change becomes routine, add another. Soon you’ll be moving mountains!

Hugs,

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Keeping a Journal When Caring for Family

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Do you find it difficult to journal, or are you one of those persons that jot down every tiny thing that happens? Some find it hard to put into words their feelings while others think it unnecessary.

Let me share with you a few of my journal entries written in January five years before Mother died:
Mother is watching the parade of colorful birds feeding outside the window, including more than a dozen bright red cardinals. The sun is coming up over the hill adding diamonds to the snow-packed yard. Crystal limbs hang heavy and beautiful in the shimmering sunlight. After days of being extremely ill, she is doing great and going to be okay. The promise of a new day beckons and I’m ready! It’s a new year, time for renewed commitments; hopes for a better tomorrow.

Only three days later I wrote:
I have such an overwhelming sense of my need for the Lord today. Mom’s been so sick again. I wonder if she’ll need to be hospitalized. I checked on her then sat down with my Bible. Before turning a page, I felt those tears run down my cheek and my spirit praying, “Lord, I need You. I am so totally helpless. I cannot make these decisions concerning Mother and our family without You. Little seemingly ordinary decisions loom heavy in my heart and I need You so much.”

One week later the journal continues:
I’m so excited I can barely contain myself. Earlier as I snuggled on Russell’s shoulder and we talked, I felt a renewed sense of wonder and peace. When I took Mother’s second cup of coffee to her room, she was as bright-eyed and full of smiles as she ever had been. She had brushed her own hair and was eager to face this new day. And so am I.

I am so thankful to have these writings; most of which no one will ever read. Many of them are too personal to share, at least for now. However, having the journals has given me a sense of peace about my years of caring for her. When I begin to wonder if I could have done more, I can look back and realize what a difficult time it was for each of us. I can know that we were in God’s hands and did the best we could.

Reading these entries reminds me how much we loved her. I can recall God’s overwhelming presence in the most difficult times and find comfort. I see how He showered us with His blessings over and over again.
You do not need to be a writer to journal. You may never ever write a book or even a short story. You may not want to share any of your journaling with a single soul and that is okay. But, I challenge you to write anyway. It’s therapeutic to write your feelings down on paper. Writing from the moment of confusion, anger or even the feeling of helplessness will often help sort things out later. The key is to write your thoughts as soon as you can and close the book.

You will find many of my journal entries in my book, MY MOTHER MY CHILD. I will tell you honestly, there are volumes of notes left out. These, at least for now, are shared only by God and me. They are written on napkins, scrap paper, sales receipts, whatever was handy at the time. They are priceless personal treasures.

I pray you will make some priceless personal treasures of your own this week. Try it, I promise you’ll like it. Let me hear from you.
Hugs,

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