Tag Archives: mother

Tips for Visiting Bereaved during Holidays

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Tips for Visiting Bereaved during Holidays Holidays are a time for food, fun, and families. Sudden death of friend or relative during holidays can cause added stress and confusion as to how to react; what to do.

I know, dear reader, you are a caregiver, either as a mother, family member, or professional. You hurt when others hurt. You are wired to help; you want to be there for those you love. You strive to keep normal holiday activity going at home as well.

Here are a few tips I trust you’ll find helpful as you face difficult situations through this season. Let me hear from you with pointers you may have.

1. Do not feel you have to bring a dish of food each time you visit. If they are involved in an active church or have a large family nearby, there is probably an abundance of prepared foods already. If you want to bring something, consider the list at the end of this article for some helpful ideas. I speak  from experience, these items are appreciated and often much needed. Not only are you bringing useful gifts, you are helping in ways you cannot imagine.
2. Ask about their needs beyond tangible items. Is there something you can do to help prepare for holiday activities? Decorating? Shopping? Addressing cards? Run errands? Clean house or yard?
3. Be sensitive to their time needs when calling or sending e-mails. Keep conversations relatively short and to the point. Spend more time listening than talking and hang up soon. Do not send unnecessary e-mails and messages that give them more to deal with.
4. Allow them to discuss their loss if they want. Some will need to talk about their loss more than others. When ready, they may need to spend extra time reminiscing, crying, and sharing. Be a good listener but learn when to give a hug and move on. Trust the Lord to give you wisdom.

Here are very practical items you can bring instead of food dishes.
1. Paper products such as paper towels, toilet paper and napkins. A thoughtful gift is small packages of Kleenex that can be put in each room or carried in pockets. I recall times when I would have given a mint for a simple tissue to dry my tears and blow my nose!
2. Paper bowls and plates and silverware are always welcome. Also, if there is to be lots of food brought in, think about bringing a few storage bowls with lids of various sizes for leftovers or to send food home with someone.
3. Consider coffee, creamer, sugar, hot chocolate and other drink mixes. Perhaps a few packages of cookies nice for them to have on hand as well. Be sure to provide paper cups for both hot and cold drinks.
4. Whether the family is larger or small, think about a few items to have on hand when they are not up to cooking. Sandwich things like peanut butter and jelly or packaged tuna or cheese and crackers are good. A few apples, oranges and grapes are welcome choices. Consider a jar of peanuts or mixed nuts.

The list is endless as you consider the needs of a household. As always, the best gift you can give is yourself; a sincere hug and prayer goes a long way in the healing process. Just knowing you are there for someone lifts their spirits and gives strength to continue on.

Praying for each of you a blessed and safe holiday season as you care for others along your path.

Hugs,

For more articles, click on the “Articles for Caregivers” tab above this article.

Safety Tips for Homebound Families

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Safety Tips for Homebound FamiliesDid you know June is National Safety Month? It is also National Iced Tea Month, National Zoo and Aquarium Month, National Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Month, and … The next few weeks we are going to look at some of these national emphasis months and find ways to celebrate while confined indoors as we explore some new ideas.

For today, let’s tackle National Safety Month for caregiver tips. This will begin to sound more like work than fun; however, be sure to read the end for ways to celebrate! As you inspect your environment for safety issues, make it a journey, not a work detail. This will seem very over-simplified to some; even a little silly to others. Depending on who you are caring for, it can be fun as you include them.

Here are some areas to check for safety this month:

  1. Are there steps in the home or outside? Are they in good repair? Free of clutter? Adequate handrails? Are residents (young and old) protected from possible falls?
  2. Are there “throw rugs” in the home? These are aptly named—enough said! If they must be used, make sure they are large and heavy enough to stay put. Consider double carpet tape to keep them in place if needed. With Mother, I had to have runners on the floor; I told her it was because “she leaked”. I often stitched them together to make a runner for her. She loved her private walkway to the bathroom.
  3. Electric outlets. Are there adequate outlets to handle the additional equipment you may need to care for others in the home? Do you have too many things plugged in to one place? Can you move some of the equipment elsewhere? Do you need a surge protector, or to replace an existing one?
  4. Windows and screens. Are they in good repair with adequate locks on them? Do you have good blinds for nighttime?
  5. Cabinets, shelving units and desks. Are they installed properly? Are desks or free-standing shelving units too top heavy? Are they cluttered or filled with unsafe items (scissors or letter openers or liquids can be a problem for some.)
  6. Faucets and showers. Is the water easy to control? Does the temperature need to be turned down to avoid burns?
  7. Wall hangings over chairs or beds. Do you have heavy mirrors or pictures hanging where little hands or curious adults can cause them to fall? When I noticed Mother could reach behind her and feel the large oval mirror on the wall above her head, I quietly moved it the next day. It was an accident waiting to happen.

Wow! That all sounds like work to me! How can we celebrate all this “extra stuff” to be responsible for?  When you can, let your family know what you are doing during National Safety Month to improve conditions around the home. If you have little ones, let them be a part of discovering potential unsafe surroundings. Make it a contest to see who can spot unsafe places. Find coloring books (for young and old) of homes and families.

The plan I like best is to make a big, colorful list at the beginning of the month of areas that need explored for safety issues. Mark off those you deal with and plan a “June Safety Month” celebration at the end of the month with summer treats for all.

Now, if you are a caregiver in someone else’s home, you may wish to simply share this article with them. As homemakers and caregivers, we have a responsibility to help others be safe and avoid accidents when possible.

Have a safe and happy summer, enjoy God’s gift of each new day; let me hear from you.

Hugs,

Can’t wait ’til you see the next letter … because we will have fun with “June is National … “, I’m not telling you yet!

 

Caring Enough to Bring Springtime Inside

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Caring Enough to Bring Springtime InsideEntering a friend’s room in a care facility, I cheerfully clutched my fresh-picked daffodil bouquet. The sweet lady in bed was not able to go outside and enjoy the magnificence of springtime’s arrival and I was sure my small gift would brighten her drab room.

I was in complete awe as I entered her room; I felt I walked into a spring garden. Residents and staff had decorated each resident’s room with colorful spring posters and pretty flower cut-outs.  Streamers of bright ribbons adorned pictures on the walls and bows accented the lamps and such. Not only did spring’s arrival permeated each room, the holiday atmosphere grew as each employee joyfully greeted visitors.

One of the staff told me they celebrate each month with all the vigor they can muster. “Not a one of us, after all, is promised a tomorrow! We simply must do all we can do today to celebrate the goodness of God.” Wow! That profound comment was food for thought!

I recall holidays when we were caring for Mother. We hurriedly put out an appropriate card and flower of some sort as holidays came and went and seasons changed. I may have even decorated a cupcake or two. But, to celebrate each day like this? No, not at all.

The truth is, spring has sprung! Easter is here! We have much to celebrate, not the least of which is A Risen Savior! How better to spread the Good News of New Life than to splash color around your home; at least in the room occupied by the home-bound. Give them and your family something new to gaze upon. Add life and interest to your home.

Celebrate family! Celebrate life!

I pray for you, dear friend, that you find rest when you are weary. I pray you find resources to meet your needs and those in your care. I pray you find courage and hope for the days ahead.

Most of all, I pray as Easter approaches, that you know the Savior that rose from the grave that day and offered His free gift of Eternal Life and Hope to all who would receive it. Happy Easter!  Blessings and hugs to each of you.

Thanks for dropping by; leave a note and I’ll answer. Share with friends so they will sign up for my newsletter (box at the top right of the page). You can help me be an encourager to those who need a weekly hug. Blessings.