Tag Archives: mother

Caregiver Hope: Yearning for Greener Grass?

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Caregiver Hope: Yearning for Greener Grass?

Help, I’m drowning!

“…is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow…when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.” (James 1:2-4, TLB)

Okay, so I admit it! I can almost see your expression as you read that verse. Your thoughts are running something like this:

“Hey, lady! The first part is correct. My life IS full of difficulties and temptations; and you don’t know the half of it. I’m at my wits end and no help in sight. You really expect me to find a blessing? And top that off by being happy?”

This week’s drastic weather changes have added to the daily stress of caring for family and others. Here in the Ozarks we can literally wade in our back yard and might consider building a boat. On the other hand, some of my readers would pay a big price to get a few drops of precious rain on their parched lands.

Some days are just plain too long!

I recall those days when the only blessing I could envision was my bed at night; that is, if I thought I would be able to muster the strength to get into it. Through the years I learned the value of identifying at least one blessing before I went to bed. Maybe my blessing was simply surviving another day. As time went on, a blessing might be remembering a soft smile when I kissed a cheek. Sometimes it was simply the smell of freshness on that last load of laundry for the day.

Close your eyes for even two minutes–yes, just TWO minutes! Sit up straight, breathe deeply and exhale slowly. Relax. Thank the Lord that He has promised never to leave you or forsake you. Thank Him for fresh air and freedoms and abilities to help others. Thank Him for His blessings.

News Flash: For You!

By the way, did you know that YOU are one of His blessings? Yes, you are!

As we continue this journey together, I trust I will be an encouragement to you; just a nudge to let you know you are not in this alone. Be assured I have prayed for each person reading this including you. Thank you for caring and sharing.

For more encouragement and practical help, consider working through the discussion guides in the second edition of MY MOTHER MY CHILD with a friend or family. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Hugs,

Feel free to share this trailer with others who have not yet read MY MOTHER MY CHILD. Thanks.

Overwhelmed Caregiver: When Spring isn’t so Grand

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Overwhelmed Caregiver: When Spring isn't so GrandSpring is one of my favorite seasons, a time of blessing.  I’ve spent hours watching the birds scurry around to build nests and hunt worms. The world seems to awaken overnight; animals attack every new blade of tender grass as we would a plate of chocolates. It’s a happy time, a great reminder of God’s everlasting care for His creation.

Even the splendor of spring can’t hide our pain!

I recall a particular spring day when my thoughts were not so favorable:
“Little Robin with your head held so high, do you know my heart is breaking? You strut proudly and sing … chirping along, grabbing a bug to eat as you go. I’m almost mad at you for being so happy! Doesn’t the whole world need to stop and feel my pain … Some would say you’re here to cheer me up. Well, sorry little birdie, it’s not working!”

Feeling overwhelmed as a caregiver, mother, friend, is inevitable.

I had been watching Mother lay in a hospital bed for days, wondering each day if it would be her last breath. Her window opened to beautiful, flower laden lawns filled with cheerful little robins. My feelings stormed inside; I wanted to chase the birds away, to cry, to scream, to do something to let the world know my heart was breaking inside. Making it doubly hard was memories of Mother and I often rejoicing together at God’s creation and enjoying the beautiful robins at play.

There is help and there is hope.

There are times when we all feel overwhelmed with circumstances around us. I deal with some of those thoughts in My Mother My Child  in the chapter called “Going Home”. It was difficult to live through; hard to write, but important to share.

One of the greatest helps I have found is simply a listening ear. I hope you have someone you trust to share your feelings with. When I cared for Mother, I often felt so alone. I did not realize so much of what was happening with her was a natural part of aging, and yes, of dying. If you care for anyone at all, find some support; you need it and so do those in your care.

Psalm 40:1 says it best: “I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry.”

Hugs,

My Mother My Child will make a thoughtful gift book for all ages. I am grateful for  testimonies from young and older who have been helped and encouraged.

Using Music Therapy in Every Household

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Using Music Therapy in Every HouseholdHelp fight stress, loneliness, boredom with music therapy.

Caregivers, consider how long a day confined at home; alone for extended periods of time would feel. You may sit in the same chair for hours. You hear others talking though not necessarily to you. What will occupy your mind?

How about your personal life. Find yourself stressed? Troubled? Stewing over things you cannot control?

Music can play a huge part in helping you care for others.

Our minds are busy all the time. With no diversion, we are prone to dwell on the struggles we have; the mistakes we have made; the what-ifs of life’s journey. Our troubles swell up inside us and we are agitated or “down in the dumps” before we realize what is happening.

Here are some helpful tips to get you started.

1. Keep music playing softly in the background to provide a peaceful atmosphere. Music soothes the soul.
2. Consider the preferences of those in your care. If elderly, find some music from their generation; an oldies radio station; or slow paced instrumentals.
3. Play gospel music for a lively change of pace. My elderly mother would sit straight up in her chair and lean toward the television set when Gaither’s Videos were playing. Her eyes would brighten, her smile return, and she was peaceful.
4. Encourage others to sing with you or hum some favorite songs. I’ll be the first to say, “I do not sing”. However, when Mother was up to it, we “sang” together and laughed. After all, the Bible says ” … make a joyful NOISE … ” and that we did!
5. Make sure the music is happy music; stay away from melodies that sound lonely or scary. This may sound a little over-simplified but I have walked into homes and wondered how you could sit there for a long period of time without screaming! The music should help you relax and focus on the positive side of life.

Music has a healing effect on even the most difficult patient.

It is known that music can greatly help those with dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease cope with daily activities. (Note: next week I will cover some amazing results in more detail.)

Here is the thing: you work hard to keep your home in order, food prepared, schedules met. Spend a little time this week thinking about your “air quality”; could you use a little music perk-up?

Hugs,

Click here to check out my online article on   5 Tips To Ease Stress in The Home