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Learning to Listen with Our Hearts

“Are you listening to me? Really listening?” Matthew 11:15 MSG

“I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.” Psalm 116:1-2

I want to learn to listen like that! God inclines His ear to me when I talk. I want to hear with my heart so that I don’t forget what is said to me. I want others to know I do care about them.

Listening involves more than merely hearing.

We are wise to learn to listen. Especially today with so many diversions at our fingertips, focusing our attention on a single conversation can be difficult. As we put forth effort to become a better listener, we benefit others as well as ourselves. You may find, as I have, some of these simple tips are easier said than done!

How you appear to the one speaking may let them know you care.

1. Look the person in the eye as you listen. This may seem oversimplified or unnecessary, especially if you are busy meeting immediate needs and you genuinely feel you don’t have time for conversation. Pausing for a few seconds to look at them directly as you smile or pat a hand or shoulder is a visual sign you genuinely care and have their best interests in hand.

Your answers can help others communicate better.

2. Do give feedback that encourages further communication. No one wants to hear, “I know how you feel”. A better comment would be, “That must be difficult for you”. Saying “I’m so sorry you feel this way” will often help to win trust and build confidence.

There is a time to give advice and a time to wait.

3. Learn to listen without giving advice. This can be extremely difficult, especially if you feel you understand the circumstances. Make a note if you think this is a topic that may need to be addressed at a later time or with others responsible for their well-being.

Click here for what the Bible has to say about listening.

Learn why certain topics are repeated more than others.

4. Try not to get impatient with repeated conversations. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes; consider why these stories might be so important. Listen for clues that may help the person, family, or you as a caregiver.

Most people simply want someone to love them; to genuinely care about their needs.

5. Do not judge the person by what they say. You may not relate to what is said or agree, but you can show the courtesy of listening politely.

Knowing you care will build trust, help reduce tension, and release emotions. Taking time to listen, even for a few short minutes, will encourage further conversations and can produce life-changing results for all.

We can learn from Jesus who said, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heaven laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and ye shall find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

Hugs,

Susie

Listening is a Learned Skill–5 Valuable Steps

“Open that kitchen window and let me inside.”

“Please, please let me in!”

This little squirrel was surely pleading, “let me in, please. I’m freezing out here!” Moving to the back deck, he folded his hands praying that I would have compassion on him.

Now, I imagined he wanted in my warm kitchen. Had I yielded to what I “heard” and let him in, he would quickly have torn the place up looking for a way to get back outside!

Hmmm! Do I listen to others in the same way? Is it possible I listen with a preconceived idea of what they want or need? Are my suggestions offered before I even hear what they are really saying to me?

Listening involves more than merely hearing.

We are wise to learn to listen. With many diversions at our fingertips, it can be difficult to focus our attention on a single conversation. As we put forth the effort to become a better listener, we benefit others as well as ourselves. You may find, as I have, some of these simple tips are easier said than done.

You may find a few of these Bible verses challenging as you learn to listen with your heart.

#1 Look the person in the eye as you listen.

This may seem oversimplified or unnecessary, especially if you are busy meeting immediate needs. Pause a few seconds, look directly at them as you smile or pat a hand or shoulder. That visual sign says you really care.

#2 Your answers can help others communicate better.

Give feedback that encourages further communication. Consider your words carefully. No one wants to hear, “I know how you feel”. A better comment would be, “that must be difficult for you”. Saying “I’m so sorry you feel this way” will often help to win their trust and build confidence.

#3 There is a time to give advice, and a time to wait.

This can be difficult (remember, listening is a learned skill). Learn to listen without giving advice. Make a note if you think this is a topic that may need to be addressed at a later time or with others responsible for their well-being.

#4 Learn why certain topics are repeated more than others.

Learn to be patient with repeated conversations. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes; consider why these stories are so important. Listen for clues that may help the person or their family, or caregivers deal with particular situations.

#5 Most people simply want someone to love them; to genuinely care about their needs.

It can be easy for us to judge the person by what they say. You may not relate to what is said or agree, but you can show the courtesy to listen politely.

Knowing you really care will build trust, help reduce tension, and release emotions. Taking time to listen, even for a few short minutes, will encourage further conversations and can produce life-changing results for all.

Hugs,

Who has been a good listener in your life? Why? What have you learned from them? Let me hear from you soon.

Learning to Listen with Compassion

learning to listen with compassion In our hectic, busy world, one of the greatest gifts you can give to your family and others in your care is to listen well. Compassionate listening is an art; it takes practice, patience, and time.

Charles Dickens has said: “No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.” One of the best ways to lighten a load is to learn to become a good listener.

Two critical cautions:

Be careful not to judge another persons reactions to a situation; do not give unsolicited advice. You may not relate to what the person is saying, but it is real to them. Certainly this can be tricky if you are caring for someone with memory issues; however, they need a compassionate ear.

Think about the person you are listening to.

Consider their health and well-being. Have they been confined to a chair, bed, or room for most of the time? Before you hurriedly walk away, remember that you may be the only person that has actually taken a few minutes to listen to their story.

Learn to listen carefully for clues.

Do they seem overly concerned about what should be an insignificant matter? Is it possible that there is more you need to know about the situation? Could there be hidden reasons for their concern?

Learn to give appropriate feedback.

Instead of saying, “I know how you feel,” try saying, “That must be difficult for you.” Or simply say “I’m sorry you are feeling this way.” As I visited with a recent widow this week, I could not say I knew how she felt even though I had experience the loss of a husband. My experience was not hers; I can understand the hurt, but I needed to hear her story, hold her hand and say “I’m so sorry.”

NOTE: Here are some good verses on listening for your study time.

This last tip may seem to be the most obvious.

However, it is often the most neglected. Give a smile and a gentle hug. Smiles have been proven to have tremendous healing effects. A simple pat on the hand or shoulder and genuine smile can make the day for someone. Good medicine for them–and good for you!

The payback for becoming a good listener.

As you take time to really listen, you will reduce tension and build trust. I like to keep a small notebook handy to jot down concerns I have or things I want to remember for the next conversation. I need the reminders — you may not forget as I do!

Take time to talk to our Heavenly Father.

You have a great week and as you listen to others, allow time to listen to our Heavenly Father as well; He is the best Compassionate Listener!

Hugs,

Do you know someone who is a great, compassionate listener? Love to hear from you.