Learning to Listen with Compassion
In our hectic, busy world, one of the greatest gifts you can give to your family and others in your care is to listen well. Compassionate listening is an art; it takes practice, patience, and time.
Charles Dickens has said: “No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.” One of the best ways to lighten a load is to learn to become a good listener.
Two critical cautions:
Be careful not to judge another persons reactions to a situation; do not give unsolicited advice. You may not relate to what the person is saying, but it is real to them. Certainly this can be tricky if you are caring for someone with memory issues; however, they need a compassionate ear.
Think about the person you are listening to.
Consider their health and well-being. Have they been confined to a chair, bed, or room for most of the time? Before you hurriedly walk away, remember that you may be the only person that has actually taken a few minutes to listen to their story.
Learn to listen carefully for clues.
Do they seem overly concerned about what should be an insignificant matter? Is it possible that there is more you need to know about the situation? Could there be hidden reasons for their concern?
Learn to give appropriate feedback.
Instead of saying, “I know how you feel,” try saying, “That must be difficult for you.” Or simply say “I’m sorry you are feeling this way.” As I visited with a recent widow this week, I could not say I knew how she felt even though I had experience the loss of a husband. My experience was not hers; I can understand the hurt, but I needed to hear her story, hold her hand and say “I’m so sorry.”
NOTE: Here are some good verses on listening for your study time.
This last tip may seem to be the most obvious.
However, it is often the most neglected. Give a smile and a gentle hug. Smiles have been proven to have tremendous healing effects. A simple pat on the hand or shoulder and genuine smile can make the day for someone. Good medicine for them–and good for you!
The payback for becoming a good listener.
As you take time to really listen, you will reduce tension and build trust. I like to keep a small notebook handy to jot down concerns I have or things I want to remember for the next conversation. I need the reminders — you may not forget as I do!
Take time to talk to our Heavenly Father.
You have a great week and as you listen to others, allow time to listen to our Heavenly Father as well; He is the best Compassionate Listener!
Hugs,
Do you know someone who is a great, compassionate listener? Love to hear from you.
I used to tell my students that they need to listen with their eyes, ears, & brain. Just ears is only hearing.
Thanks, Sue. What wise words. I’m sure your students learned much from your teaching.
Susie, I needed this!
Me, too! Seems I write more from personal need … I be a mess! Aren’t we thankful for God’s unconditional LOVE? Thanks for commenting.
Good read. I think so many times we listen and just think about our response. We don’t just stop thinking about how the conversation affects ME-and just give a kind and sweet ear. Lots of times when I need to talk to someone-I’m not looking for advice-I just need someone who will listen and love. We also need to be TRUSTWORTHY with someone’s spoken words. Be that person who never repeats what they hear.
That’s great insight, Cindi. I really appreciate the last statement; so very important. Often we share comments as “prayer requests” which should not be repeated. Best just to ask for prayer for a particular person without giving the reasons. Thank you so much for commenting.