Anna is primary caregiver for her mother and stretched to the max keeping up with work, family, and life. She is somewhat relieved that her ailing mother is now in a good extended care facility; and they keep her informed of any changes in her mother’s physical condition or her care. Or, so she thought.
On a recent visit, she found her mother’s condition had worsened, and no one had prepared Anna for drastic changes in her care. Her initial reaction was to feel angry, hurt, and helpless. Often she was made to feel like an intruder as she began to question the changes.
As parents, friends, relatives or primary caregivers, we each will come face-to-face with sudden emergencies and need to be prepared to deal properly with them. Here are some helpful tips to avoid or at least ease the tension of these situations. We’ll look at what Anna learned from personal experience and from a gentle nurse who sensed her frustrations and told her, “you wait right here. I will not let you leave until I get the answers for you concerning your mother’s care”. It was clear, this nurse loved what she was doing; she wanted to help people and encourage co-workers.
1. You are often the patient’s advocate whether you asked for the position or not. They may not be able to express their needs. The same inadequate care or neglect may be happening to other patients; those in charge need to hear from you. Do not hesitate to go directly to the administrator, physician, or others in charge for clarification and direction.
2. When someone in your care enters a new facility, document everything you can. Post names of employees who give especially reliable care and those you have cause to question. When things are not as they should be in the facility or with the patient, make a note of it and who is working at the time.
3. Take time to assess the current situation. Ask yourself, is this really of prime importance to her overall care and well-being? Am I over-reacting? Stop. Take time to honestly evaluate your position. You do not want to complicate the problem by acting in haste.
4. Proceed kindly with determination to find solutions. Resolve to be kind to everyone involved. You may need to stop more than once to breathe deeply, relax, and continue in a better frame of mind.
5. Strive to be an encourager, even in difficult times. Many of the employees are doing the best they can. As they say, “don’t let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch.”
6. Remember why you are there as well. Are you caring for your loved one from a loving heart, out of duty, or some other reason?
It can prove extremely difficult from time to time to care for others. However, if we do it because we love them, the task becomes much easier. As we grow into better caregivers, the patients feel genuinely loved, accepted and cared for.
As I read over these helps, I see they can apply to all areas of our lives; children in schools, on the job, at work or play. People of all ages and health need the same thing—love, acceptance, and hope for a good day. You can be the instrument today to help another.
Praying you will feel that love and acceptance and an extra surge of energy and hope as you care for others along your path.
Hugs,
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