Tag Archives: encouragement

Mother Caregiver Friend A Solution to Time Management

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Are you a mother? Grandmother? Caregiver? Elderly? Young? Stressed to the max?

Do you, as I do, find it difficult—impossible—to visit everyone you need to? Are your daily task  lists getting longer instead of shorter?

Does a day’s end find you longing for a Days Inn to seek refuge?

Two months ago my husband and I found ourselves locked into schedules even a younger person could not handle. Guilt weighed heavy on our shoulders and we were burdened for those we had no time to care for.

We began daily asking God to make our appointments for us; to literally put us where we needed to be, when we needed to be there in order to follow His schedule for our lives.

At the same time, we looked at our calendars and realized some “important” commitments could be adjusted, if not eliminated. We waited for God to show us His plan.  As I reflect on this day (Sunday) I realize it  paints a vivid picture of God’s plan versus our plan.

My husband, Russell, is Director of Missions in Dallas County (MO). This morning as he supplied the pulpit in one of our churches, we learned one of their members was admitted to the hospital, in ICU with heart problems and would welcome a minister’s visit.

Choosing to go the hospital after church meant we had to cancel plans to attend an ordination service in another church. This was a young man we had seen grow up and follow the Lord’s leading. We were close to his family and his wife’s family as well; it was a difficult decision.

At the hospital the patient was alone in the room and very pleased to have company and prayer support. Car trouble had left his family stranded on their way to the hospital so Russell’s visit was very timely.

Later, in the cafeteria, we felt sure God had arranged appointments for us:

1.      We met an elderly man and his caregiving daughter and shared some special thoughts with them. We gave her a copy of My Mother My Child followed by tears and hugs as we praised God for His direction.

2.      We both hugged on a senior widow who had suffered two light strokes and needed encouragement from friends. Neither she nor us had been to that restaurant in months but “just happened” to be there at the same time on this day.

3.      I listened and wept with a lady as she confronted some issues regarding a future testimony in her church. As we talked, we prayed for wisdom and God’s direction and His peace in her life. Our lives were both enriched as only friends can be as they share honestly with one another. We vowed to pray specifically for each other on our upcoming ministries.

4.      My husband and another pastor openly shared concerns and praises as they renewed a friendship and recounted how God had been at work in marvelous ways.

We were home in time for a nap before evening church but were too wound up to rest. Off to church now—wonder what God has in store for the rest of our day.

Proverbs 3:5-6 admonishes us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”

I hope you are allowing God to plan your day. His schedule is amazing!

Hugs,

PS. An old friend “just happened” to show up at church for evening worship—more hugs and laughs and praises! Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter (upper right hand corner of page); I’ll look forward to hearing from you soon.

A Reality Check When Facing Signs of Exhaustion

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I felt totally exhausted today. Plain ole exhausted!  Exhaustion is defined as being completely used up and that is how I felt. The routine of caring for family needs and home seemed overwhelming, and my ‘free time’  was never enough. Time, energy, and the will to push on were gone.

Are you there today? Ever been there? Wow, it’s hard to pull yourself out of that mode. I didn’t want to do anything, see anyone, talk on the phone, and eat — well, let’s re-think that last one!

Deciding I needed—deserved—a break, I poured myself a steaming cup of Hazelnut coffee, grabbed a chocolate protein bar, propped my feet up on a pillow and turned on the television hoping to find some music or lively show to motivate me.

Before I could switch the dial, I was mesmerized by the screen. A young man seemed to be on top of a desk as he spoke to an enormous crowd. His face literally lit up as he shared the joy in his heart from serving others. As he talked freely about how blessed he was and how much God had done for him, the camera scanned the audience.

As the cameraman turned his focus to the speaker, I realized he was literally speaking from the top of a desk. This was my first encounter with Nick Vujicic. Nick was born in Australia without arms or legs. His parents had worked hard to get him accepted in a public school where he accomplished with no limbs what seemed impossible from an early age. He learned to use his one “foot” to type on a computer and perform many other tasks.

Within a few minutes, my feet slid off the stool and onto the floor. I sat straight up in my chair staring in disbelief as he continued talking about how anything is possible if you want it badly enough. His early days, I am sure, were extremely difficult. I realized my present tiredness would not hold a candle to his true exhaustion as he worked hard to strengthen and train what muscles he had to achieve his goals.

I struggle with finding time to meet writing deadlines, to read more books, to become a more faithful witness and friend to others. It doesn’t seem to take much to pull me away from my goals and I wonder how committed I am to finding my purpose.

According to this young man, life without purpose is no life at all. Living without limbs, he is an author, musician, actor, and his hobbies include fishing, painting and swimming. Nick says, “If God can use a man without arms and legs to be His hands and feet, then He will certainly use any willing heart!”

Well, dear friends, that program sure did a lot for my exhaustion! I turned off the television, finished cleaning the room, washed and put away another load of laundry, and sorted the stack of papers lining the dining table. (My husband will be in shock!)

You know me well enough to know, I believe we need to rest when we are tired. I believe we need to care for ourselves as we care for others. I believe there is a time to work and a time to play.

However, there is also—at least in my life—a form of tiredness that comes from “stinkin’ thinkin’” and I am choosing to change that attitude every time it appears.

I pray for you to find rest and renewal in your life today.

Hugs,

Who do you know that needs encouragement? Suggest they sign up for my newsletter today.

Three Keys to Getting Unexpected Help Around the Home

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He doesn’t like doing the dishes. He isn’t one of those got-it-together guys standing ready to fire up the grill for a family outing. Help around the house does not mean in the kitchen. That area is almost foreign to him—unless he hears his name called for mealtime.

Imagine my surprise today when my husband came into the kitchen unannounced and begin scraping leftovers from a large bowl into a small one. Then, after finding lids to fit each one, he put them into the refrigerator. I glanced at him and smiled, and turned quickly back to my dish washing lest I somehow stop this miracle in progress.

“I don’t know if I’m doing this right,” he said almost apologetically.

“I’m sure it’s perfect. Thanks.”

We finished our work and took a second cup of coffee to the deck to cool off and rest a bit.

“You will never know how very much it meant to me for you to make time to help me today. Just putting the food away was an encouragement. Besides that, I really enjoyed your company. Thanks again.”

It seems as the years pass, we have become more sensitive to each other’s needs and try to be helpful when possible. That’s a given for most families. Today he taught me by example a lesson I think we all could benefit from.

When offering your help, do not simply pick the things you enjoy and ignore the rest. For my husband, helping clean the kitchen ranks down at the bottom of his list—way down. Not only that, I know he had work of his own to complete in the other room; he wasn’t in the kitchen with me because he was bored.

Here is what I believe are three keys to (eventually) getting help around the home:

  1. When help is offered, take it as it comes. I will never tell my husband he covered my dish of scraps and refrigerated them! Neither will I spend time wishing he had done things a different way; my way is not always the right way. (Incidentally, that has been a really difficult lesson to learn for me. How about you?)
  2. Do not drag people kicking and screaming to help you. Ask politely for help when needed. If refused or ignored, make the best of it. Each year my husband seems to be more comfortable helping with the kitchen, laundry, or cleaning. I think asking him to do small things periodically for me in those areas has helped him feel more comfortable and equipped to help more. A man (or woman for that matter) does not feel secure trying to help in unfamiliar territory.
  3. Do not spend your time complaining about not having help. Be thankful for the abilities and resources God has provided for you and try to enjoy even the most menial daily tasks. Be thankful you have someone to share with and let them know they are more important that what they will or will not do.

A verse in the third chapter of Colossians comes to mind about now that seems to sum this all up:

“And whatsoever you do, do it heartily as unto the Lord, and not unto men.”

May your lives be enriched by those in your home and those you care for as you continue to bless others along the way.

Hugs,

Have you checked out my new page, Articles for Caregivers? There are some meaningful articles there for everyone. And sign up for the newsletter (pretty purple box on right.)