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God’s Beautiful Bouquet from Burdens and Brokenness

Only God can create a beautiful bouquet from burdens and brokenness.

The beautiful bouquet pictured here is actually three broken, dying plants. My life has been like that of late.

The first, a huge basket which once overflowed with colorful plants. My life was the same–every where I looked was joy and laughter and hope.

The second, a beautiful red geranium used to hang on the front porch, gaily swinging in the breeze. The plant, as did I, eagerly greeted passersby and visitors alike.

Thirdly, a perky yellow mandevilla stretched her way up a post, reaching toward the sky as if praising the Creator with every new bloom. My life, too, was full of activity and joy and color. Then came a little bump; then another, then another. Each little brokenness kept me from tending to daily chores. Without care, the plants began to wither and die.

Stress and busyness kept me occupied. No time to sit on the porch or water flowers. The withered geranium was taken down. Likewise, the mandevilla, with no water and no cords to climb, finally began to retreat.

Does your life feel that way? Stressed, strained, overwhelmed? I can tell you for a fact: God wants to build a beautiful bouquet from burdens and brokenness.

One day it was as if God said, “that’s enough crying! Trust Me!” Only a little dusty miller and other greenery had survived in the big basket. I plopped my frazzled geranium right in the middle of those struggling plants.

Then I moved enough dirt and roots in the geranium to squeeze in the mandevilla-still in its temporary pot. Carefully I picked off all the dead blooms and stems and began watering. God did the rest!

What old dead stuff are you hanging on to. Can you do a little weeding, even a little bit?

What is there you need to give to God? Let God build a beautiful bouquet from burdens and brokenness in your life.

My circumstances have not changed. In fact, they are worse than ever from a human perspective. Deadlines loom, water leaks and broken phones and other things still need fixed. Loved ones are in hopeless situations and I can’t be there to help.

But I know … I KNOW … Who makes bouquets from burdens and brokenness. He gives me peace, comfort, and direction. He will do that for you as well. Ask Him. Trust Him.

Hugs,

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Trustworthy Support Groups and Online Medical Sites

Trustworthy Support Groups and Online Medical Sites.

It is imperative to find trustworthy support groups and online medical sites. Coping with changes identified in your loved ones’ home, or effectively help others cope, calls for a strong support system.

Caregiver or not, we need support. Example, which of the following has affected your family or friends: Dementia, Alzheimers, Death, Alcohol, Suicide, Chronic Pain, ADHD, Aging Parents, Depression, Narcotics, Eating Disorders, Sexual Abuse, Divorce.

Some support may come from those around you.

#1 A support group needs to be trustworthy and confidential. Having a group you have confidence in enables you to relate your true feelings and share more honestly about your unique situation.

#2 The best support will come from others who have traveled that road before. When that person holds your hand and says, “I understand,” you can know they really do.

#3 Hearing the experiences of others in a given situation will help you better understand your circumstances. Actions and reactions which seem foreign to you right now may be normal for a person suffering or struggling with certain issues.

#4 Local support groups offer help and hope in a more personal, long term environment. If there is none available, consider starting a group. Simply find two or three others going through the same situation and plan to meet for about an hour once or twice a month.

#5 Online support groups for family and friends are a great place to start your search. Look for blogs or discussion boards on the particular area you are dealing with.

A word of caution here-while online sites can offer ready help and suggestions, filter any changes through your medical team or reliable agency such as Mental Health America, Alzheimers Association, CAPS (Children of Aging Parents) or other appropriate group.

After searching through pages of information and online sites, I would recommend http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/find_support_group as a good place to begin your search. There you will find a lengthy list of support groups as well as helps.

Another website that may offer help depending upon your location is www.healthfinder.gov. I researched our local hospitals on this site. I also found valuable information on several health-related issues.

Make sure the sites you are searching are updated regularly so you get the latest information.

Remember to call upon the Great Physician for wisdom and direction. We read “Call upon me and I will answer thee … ” in Jeremiah 33:3.

Hugs,

Have you purchased a copy of the 2nd edition of MY MOTHER MY CHILD? I am getting great comments from those using the discussion guide at the end of each chapter. Let me hear from you.

Learn to Identify Needs of Elderly Parents and Loved Ones

Learn to identify needs of elderly parents and loved ones. When you learn to identify needs of elderly parents, you may prevent much heartache later for both of you.

This is difficult when you live out of state.

For years my only personal contact with Mother was a visit every few months. There was always so much to catch up on and so little time on those visits.

Learning to notice changes takes practice.

Mother seemed to be doing okay living alone. She loved her home and neighborhood and had all the necessities she needed. When I did raise concerns, she immediately gave me that “I’m your mother” look that let me know, as far as she was concerned, it was none of my business!

The elderly parent or loved one may not want your help.

They may realize they cannot do all they used to do. But they don’t want to worry you and go to great lengths to reassure you they are fine without help.

There were many red flags I failed to see.

If you are in a difficult situation, but feel help may be needed, here are a few things to look for on your next visit. Please note: these tips are not simply for family but for paid or volunteer caregivers as well.

1. Learn to focus on changes in behavior or housekeeping. Do you see signs of increased neglect in any of the above areas? What has changed since your last visit?

2 Is the mail handled properly? If you have concerns about whether or not bills are paid on time, you may need to contact utility companies to make sure they are up to date.

3. When you enter the home, what is your first reaction? Does the home seem overly hot or cool? Are the rooms unduly stuffy or dark? Are window shades and curtains drawn in midday for no apparent reason?

4. Is there an odor in the home? Elderly often have urinary problems and could have stained clothing or even dribbles on the floor to the bathroom. They may not be aware of the problem themselves.

5. How is the kitchen, are dishes done? Now, let’s be realistic here; if you come to my home unannounced, you may find dirty dishes or some chores undone. However, when they begin to stack up, it could be a problem. Notice the washed dishes; is there dried food in them? Is there food left on the counter from the last meal?

6.Check out the refrigerator. Are leftovers stored without covers? Are the fruits and vegetables wilted or spoiled. Check to see if condiments are stored properly and not too old to use.

7 Is the trash emptied? Are all the wastebaskets overflowing? Are tables and chairs piled high with papers, mail, and magazines?

If you have real concerns, consider keeping a notebook for a few weeks. (If you live away, ask someone to do it for you.) Note changes in behavior, hygiene, or the home. Recognizing the need for help is a beginning. Once you know what the real needs are, you can seek help in meeting those needs.

Looking back (isn’t that always easier?) I can see how serious her needs were. However, those concerns dwindled when my flight landed back home and the pressures of work and family took over.

We are fortunate today to have access to agencies to aid in getting the needed help. Knowing the extent of the need is critical to ensuring a proper response to our questions when seeking advice. In the next post, I will give some ideas on where and how to find help. Please let me hear from you.

Hugs,

For more details about my journey with mother, get my book, My Mother My Child