Butch (Richard) age 1 1/2 and Sue Kinslow age 3 1/2.

National Sibling Day stirred up a plethora of bittersweet memories.

Handling emotions and accepting reality is difficult as sibling memories surface without notice.

My only sibling died last year after a long battle with several health issues. As a result, how long will I wait for the phone to ring on Saturday night?

“Seester, this be yer bruther! How are you and Rev. doing this week?”

Redeem the Time

Classmates from 50plus years ago brought cake and treats to his hospital room to celebrate his 74th birthday, knowing it was his last.

Loving friends spent hours with him. Though paralyzed, they fed him his favorite cake, laughed, cried, retold old stories, made videos, sang, prayed.  However, I wouldn’t even have known carrot cake was his fav!

Treasure what you have now.

Hear me: Baby Brudder was not perfect. He was a rascal; he wanted it his way or no way. He was brass, often, too much so. He could be a pain. But, he was my brother, warts and all. I loved him and I miss him. Though I tired of his age-old, worn-out, often true stories, how I’d love to hear one now!

He was a sought after employee in his day; a friend among friends; both loved and hated; a woodsy hunter and fisherman; a pool shark in the Navy (trophy to prove it). I’ve learned about things about him from friends and family I wish we had talked about through the years.

Ask questions only your family can answer.

I never thought much of our age difference growing up. He and I and my parents lived in a two-room house with all the utilities outside! Well water, wood stove, path out back. In school, our classmates often hung out together like one big family. Most of my friends had siblings in his class; our parents were friends.

I want to ask him how it was for him when I graduated and took off across the country. Did he follow his life dream? Or, did he even have one?

It’s not just Brother I yearn to talk with. When Richard was a baby, we lived on 40 acres adjoining Grandpa Kinslow’s farm near Southwest City, MO. A chat with Daddy’s dozen or so brothers and sisters could have been endless. I want to talk with Momma about raising a family in the woods. I recall only one statement she said about that time.

“Carrol Sue, when you were small and Butch was just a toddler, I would leave you both at the top of the hill and go down to wash clothes and get water. Tippy, our dog would stand guard and not let you wander off.”

The Bottom Line

As I think of the memories, good and not so good, I may learn to apply a couple of truths about my brother. The people he chose to love, he loved well. He cared for them, he visited them, he called and showed concern. When he was on dialysis 14 years, he became close friends with those who cared for him. He took them freshly baked desserts from his kitchen on dialysis days.

He loved his mother, he called her regularly. When we took care of her for eight years, he was in constant contact to see what we might need and encourage her heart as no one else could.

And, the most important. I was concerned about his spiritual health which is actually the only really important question at a time like this. To his dying breath, he shared his faith in Christ with those who asked and said often, “I know Whose I am and I know where I’m going.”  There are no words to express what that means to ‘Seester’!

Hugs,

The generations before me are all gone now. I treasure the memories and long for heaven where we’ll make new ones with Jesus. Wow!  Let me hear from you; how do you deal with these issues in your family?