“Open that kitchen window and let me inside.”
“Please, please let me in!”
This little squirrel was surely pleading, “let me in, please. I’m freezing out here!” Moving to the back deck, he folded his hands praying that I would have compassion on him.
Now, I imagined he wanted in my warm kitchen. Had I yielded to what I “heard” and let him in, he would quickly have torn the place up looking for a way to get back outside!
Hmmm! Do I listen to others in the same way? Is it possible I listen with a preconceived idea of what they want or need? Are my suggestions offered before I even hear what they are really saying to me?
Listening involves more than merely hearing.
We are wise to learn to listen. With many diversions at our fingertips, it can be difficult to focus our attention on a single conversation. As we put forth the effort to become a better listener, we benefit others as well as ourselves. You may find, as I have, some of these simple tips are easier said than done.
You may find a few of these Bible verses challenging as you learn to listen with your heart.
#1 Look the person in the eye as you listen.
This may seem oversimplified or unnecessary, especially if you are busy meeting immediate needs. Pause a few seconds, look directly at them as you smile or pat a hand or shoulder. That visual sign says you really care.
#2 Your answers can help others communicate better.
Give feedback that encourages further communication. Consider your words carefully. No one wants to hear, “I know how you feel”. A better comment would be, “that must be difficult for you”. Saying “I’m so sorry you feel this way” will often help to win their trust and build confidence.
#3 There is a time to give advice, and a time to wait.
This can be difficult (remember, listening is a learned skill). Learn to listen without giving advice. Make a note if you think this is a topic that may need to be addressed at a later time or with others responsible for their well-being.
#4 Learn why certain topics are repeated more than others.
Learn to be patient with repeated conversations. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes; consider why these stories are so important. Listen for clues that may help the person or their family, or caregivers deal with particular situations.
#5 Most people simply want someone to love them; to genuinely care about their needs.
It can be easy for us to judge the person by what they say. You may not relate to what is said or agree, but you can show the courtesy to listen politely.
Knowing you really care will build trust, help reduce tension, and release emotions. Taking time to listen, even for a few short minutes, will encourage further conversations and can produce life-changing results for all.
We can learn from Jesus who said, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heaven laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and ye shall find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29
Hugs,
Who has been a good listener in your life? Why? What have you learned from them? Let me hear from you soon.
