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Memories, How They Linger

Dr Glen Pence wed us in a Joplin, MO blizzard.

Our Beautiful Family on Our Wedding Day; Debbie, Laura, Michael, Ricky

Memories, how they linger.

It was one very long month ago that my precious husband breathed his last breath here on earth.

Today, I pat his pillow and pray for strength to face another day without his loving arms wrapped around me. In the deepest trials, he assured me, “Susie, God has this. It will be okay.”

I know that, but I sure would like to hear him say it just one more time!

Celebrating Our First Year

God’s Word has been such a comfort to me. Our Father’s Love is boundless. Click here to check out these great scriptures.

Life is hard when you lose a loved one. When it is a spouse, every part of your life changes. I don’t like checking “widowed” on all these papers. I don’t like filling my own gas tank; carrying in the groceries, going to the mailbox, emptying the trash, making decisions all by myself.

But the love of friends and family keeps me going. God blessed us with four beautiful children. I am so thankful. Each did their part in caring for Russell and me in his final hours. Our daughters call often to see what I need, to share memories, to encourage. The boys are coming again this week to fix stuff around here for me.

I’m overwhelmed at the floral tributes, cards, calls, and monetary gifts given to Dallas County SBA Missions and Gideon Bibles in his memory. Literally from coast to coast I am getting comments of how his life has been an influence on others. Beautiful memories; such immeasurable blessings.

All this is good. However, right now I sure would like to have one more great big hug. Lunch is not the same without him wrapping his arms around me and blessing the meal. Going to Woods without his walking while I shop is lonely. And, I don’t know what to buy…I don’t need all that stuff he liked; not sure what I even prefer to eat.

Visiting churches each week is both uplifting and very lonely. I miss his hand patting mine; his affirming smile; how he showed his love for Jesus and for others. I went to revival last night; I missed hearing his comments on the great message and fellowship. Our DCASB Annual meeting is tomorrow; he should be there to give his report and encourage our pastors!.

Truth is, we have an entire community of “suddenly single” individuals trying to find their way in a new and different world. Not all share the same needs, but each long for someone to hold their hand and say it will be okay. Please pray for us as we seek God’s will in our lives individually, and in our community as a whole. The need is great for some support groups. Russell and I had talked since last Christmas about the need in our association and what God would have us do.

And, as you read this, consider your own family. Love them. Pray for them. Hold them close. Trust God to work in their lives as you give them over to Him.

Never miss an opportunity to say “I love you,” or “I am sorry.” And, drop me a note anytime.

Hugs,

If you have been involved in a support group or know of some good bereavement materials, please leave me a message at the end of this article. Thanks for caring.

A Little Child shall lead Them

Baby Reiley at Promise Point Baptist

The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them … Isaiah 11:6

As I write this, my world has turned upside down. In the midst of it all, there is hope. I know Who holds me in His loving Hands.

The first week in August was long, tiring, and for the most part unsuccessful. One more long trip out of town following my cousin’s death was inevitable. However, my heart drew me back home Sunday for church. A close friend, Marilyn, was to be baptized in the river, I HAD to be there.

As often happens, the Lord spoke directly to my heart through the pastor’s message. Over sixty years as a Christian and I continue to be amazed at how the Holy Spirit meets the deepest, unspoken needs of my heart.

The breezy warm day was ideal for a dunkin’ in the river. As Pastor closed the service, a loud clap of thunder stopped us in our tracks. Thunder? no, no, NO! Within minutes the parking lot was flooded as lightning again filled the sky. There would be no river baptism today.

All was lost. I should not have made the long trip home. Or, was this another one of God’s appointments?

“Susie, we didn’t get your picture with the baby. We need all of our church in Reiley’s Family album.” A very excited new grandmother was in my face with a camera as she plopped that wee one in my arms. Oh, my … I’d drive anywhere to cuddle that cutie again.

As I cradled that precious child in my arms, I knew that I knew that I knew. God always has a plan. I must learn to trust Him more. There is hope. There is a calm in the midst of my storm. there is assurance the promise of our permanent home where we all, God’s children, will have the peace of this little child. We will be cared for and nurtured and loved like no other can.

For some encouraging scriptures providing hope click here.

I do not know what my tomorrow holds, I do know it isn’t going as we had planned. I’ve not had time to comprehend the loss of my cousin/sister! It leaves me as the last remaining member of Momma’s family! Just now I am watching my amazing hubby struggle to breathe. We do know the Great Planner has each of us in the palm of His loving hand. I know, I KNOW we can trust Him.

Are you a Child of the King? Do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt your last breath here will be your next in Heaven?

There is a peace that passes all understanding as your Forever Family holds you up in prayer. Do you have that peace? If not, I have time to listen. Even in the midst of the wildest storm, you are loved.

Hugs,

Overwhelmed? Help is on the Way!

Look beyond the brokenness

Let’s be honest. Life sometimes stinks! I’m tired of being told where I can and cannot visit or told what to wear or do. In fact, my plans for this very day did not include thunderstorms and power outages. I struggle with keeping my calm; my focus goes awry

I am weary of trying to help a relative who will not help herself. Being even a part-time caregiver/advisor is work. It takes all the energies and resources I have and then some. It alters my priorities, ties me down, and wears me out. Seems to be a thankless job with no end in sight.

Can you relate? Are the tasks looming before you overwhelming at times? Do you wish for help only to find the help was inadequate at best? Feel you should have done the work yourself although you know you could not?

Like water heating in a teakettle; these feelings can quickly boil and soon break out into unkind words or actions if not held at bay. (I speak from experience here).

Study the photo. What do you see? The dead limbs, the battered old tree? The overgrown brush? The darkened sky? Look closer, soak up the soft colors of that rainbow. Rest on the wings of the One Who has it all covered.

“Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need! He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet streams. He gives me new strength. He helps me do what honors him the most.” (Psalm 23:1-3, TLB). Click here for some more inspiring words from the One who knows our needs.

There are no easy answers or quick fixes. Each situation is different; circumstances vary; needs versus wants must be defined.

Here are five very, very simple ideas that continue to help me cope when the load seems too heavy to carry. I must tell you, just a few minutes ago while thunderstorms raged (outside and in my spirit as well). I walked out on the porch and did #1 and #2 below. My spirit calmed; I am now renewed and pressing on.

#1 Breathe. Too simple? Not really! When you feel stress coming, stop long enough to look away from the situation and breathe deeply. Stand up tall, close your eyes and breathe in for five counts through your nose. Hold that a few seconds, then slowly breathe out through your mouth. Relax, repeat.

#2 Hum or sing a little bit. I confess I am not a singer (my entire family will agree). However, when life feels really tough, I sing softly, “Jesus loves me, this I know … “as I continue my work. And, yes, today as thunderstorms raged (outside and in my spirit as well). I stepped out on the porch and slowly breathed the fresh air. Then I loudly sang that song and my spirit calmed.

#3 Exercise. Even though you feel you cannot do any exercise—no time, energy, or ability—you can do something. A simple stretch works wonders. Stand on tiptoes, hold a chair for balance and slowly do a few squats. Then stand and reach for the stars, one hand, then the other, then both. A few minutes every hour or so will help keep your blood flowing and your body limber.

#4 Write. Keep a notebook handy to jot down your feelings—good and not so good. Let all that anger flow from your brain through your fingers and onto the page. Don’t fail to find something good to write down about the ones you are caring for or working with and about yourself.

#5 Smile. Now, I know this suggestion sounds a little misplaced. Just try it, look in the mirror, and smile—big, big cheesy grin. You tried it and giggled, didn’t you? Laughter IS the best medicine!

Perhaps life can become overwhelming at times. But truthfully, it should be a fantastic blessing, an opportunity to be Jesus’ hands and feet. It’s a privilege, an awesome responsibility, an opportunity to encourage, to make a hurting soul feel happy and loved. The ability to care is a gift from God.

Repeated on purpose: The best help is always found in God’s unchanging Word! “Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need! He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet streams. He gives me new strength. He helps me do what honors him the most.” (Psalm 23:1-3, TLB).

Blessings and hugs to you as you care for yourself and others,

Please take time to share your hints with me; I could use a few more!