Tag Archives: stress

Lessons Learned on the Caregivers Floor

Posted on by

Lessons Learned on the Caregivers FloorMy concerns over needing more medical equipment and keeping Mother in bed all night were verified in the early morning hours when I heard a light thud. As I rushed into her room, I found Momma on the floor with her pillow and blankets.

“Momma, whatcha doin’ down there?”

She simply stared at me as I checked her out. Finding that she had not suffered any injuries, I had to determine what to do now.

“Are you having a slumber party?” Big smile and giggles.

“Can I join you? We can sleep in the floor—I would like that.”  She quickly responded with a huge smile and a childlike twinkle in her blue eyes.

With no one available to help me until morning, I rolled her over onto some warm blankets, pillowed her head, and snuggled in beside her for the night. This was the beginning of another adjustment in the ever-changing life of a caregiver.

Now was the time to get a hospital bed moved into our home and I was not ready.

I recall a few days later when I locked her in that bed, the clang of those cold bars as they clicked in place and her stare of disapproval. It didn’t seem right to lock my own mother up!

“Oh, Mommy, you gonna really like this new bed of yours. Look at this, you got blanket holders to keep your blankets on the bed so you’ll stay warm all night long.”

It was important that I not show any frustration in my expressions as I continued:  “And you have a brand new mattress—aren’t you just somethin’ now!”

For my mother in her situation, those silly little conversations helped us survive the constant changes without a lot of stress. Mother had become so much like a child, living in and for the moment at hand. She seemed to reflect the atmosphere around her.

For you it may be different.  The reality is the same in any given situation: our attitude and approach to situations greatly influence how others will react. Whatever the ages of the persons involved, a smile and kind word will generally make difficult situations easier to manage.

Did I necessarily want to giggle or to sleep on the floor? No! I wanted to share my frustrations with someone. I wanted to complain because she was in the floor and I had no help.

This one thing I can promise: “My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory.” Somehow He always gave me the strength and wisdom I needed to make it through. I hope you rely on Him for help and comfort.

Hugs,

Learn more from MY MOTHER MY CHILD available on this website. Did you sign up for the newsletter?

5 Easy Tips to Help Lighten Your Load

Posted on by

Being Mother’s full time caregiver was often difficult work, filled with daily challenges. It took all the energies and resources I had available and then some. It changed my priorities, it tied me down and wore me out; it could seem to be a thankless job.

Can you relate? Are the tasks looming before you overwhelming at times?  Do you wish for help only to find the help was inadequate at best? Do you often feel you would have been better off to do the work yourself although you know you cannot do it all.

Like water heating in a teakettle; these feelings can quickly boil and soon break out into unkind words or actions if not held at bay. (I speak from experience here).

There are no easy answers or quick-fixes. People in each situation are different; circumstances vary; needs versus wants must be defined for your particular responsibilities.

Here are five simple ideas that helped me cope when the load seemed too heavy to carry.

#1 Breathe. Too simple? Not really! When you feel stress coming, stop long enough to look away from the situation and breathe deeply. Stand up tall, close your eyes and breathe in for five counts through your nose. Hold that a few seconds, then slowly breathe out through your mouth. Relax, repeat.

#2 Hum or sing a little bit. I confess I am not a singer (my entire family will agree). However, when things got really tough with Momma, I would sing softly, “Jesus loves me, this I know … “as I continued my work. Even today when life gets crazy around me, I softly sing that song and my spirit quiets inside.

#3 Exercise. Even when you feel you cannot do any exercise—no time, energy or ability—you can do something. A very simple stretch works wonders. Stand on tip toes behind a chair for balance and slowly lower and raise your body. Reach for the stars, one hand, then the other, then both. A few minutes every hour or so will help keep your blood flowing and your body limber.

#4 Write. Keep a notebook handy to jot down your feelings—good and not so good. Let all that anger flow from your brain through your fingers and onto the page. Don’t fail to find something good to write down about the one you are caring for and about yourself.

#5 Smile. Now, I know this suggestion sounds a little misplaced. Just try it, look in the mirror and smile—big, big cheesy grin. You tried it and giggled, didn’t you? Laughter IS the best medicine!

Perhaps caring for someone can be a thankless job and overwhelming at times. But truthfully,  it is foremost a fantastic blessing, an opportunity to be Jesus’ hands and feet to someone. It’s a privilege, an awesome responsibility, an opportunity to encourage, to make a hurting soul feel happy and loved. The ability to care is a gift from God.

“Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need! He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet streams. He gives me new strength. He helps me do what honors him the most.” (Psalm 23:1-3, TLB).

Blessings and hugs to you as you care for others,

Some thoughts taken from MY MOTHER MY CHILD available on this website.

Preparing to Give When You are Give Out

Posted on by

Christmas came early this year, I am sure of it. Holidays are often  stressful times for caregivers. We may not be able to follow traditions, give as we usually do, or keep everything going smoothly.

Giving can be a big struggle at Christmas. We often are stretched to the limit on finances, time and energy. There is not time to shop or the money to buy what we want.

Here are some simple ideas to move you and your household into the giving spirit without the stress.

First, take a minute to be thankful for what you do have; for life and freedoms, for air to breathe, water to drink, eyes to see. Be thankful you can be there for someone else in their time of need.

Second, be cheerful about establishing new traditions if need be. Life is full of changes, make them fun and exciting. Simply say to friends and family, “We are celebrating differently this year.” It may mean pot luck family meals instead of you doing all the cooking.  It may mean spending much, much less on gifts this year.

Third, plan ahead to be a lavish giver this season. (No, it is not too late to plan ahead-see quick shopping list below.) We know from experience that is more blessed to give than to receive, so go for it. Here are some fun things to have on hand so you can be a cheerful giver in trying times.

  1. Cookies. Just one cookie in a small sandwich bag tied with inexpensive curly ribbons can be an encouragement to the clerk at the store.  Purchase cookie mix or slice and bake when on sale. Package them soon and tie with ribbons so your resident “mice” will know they are spoken for!
  2. Candies. I keep a bag in my purse of hard candies (pretty ones for the season) and give them out to people I meet. It may be a couple in McDonald’s or the weary lady waiting in line at the counter. Add a sincere smile and a “God bless you” and you have made someone’s day special.
  3. Little ‘pass it on’ cards with cute pictures and sayings. These are usually found at the book stores priced at just a few cents each. Again, I watch for the sales and keep a big stash in my bag. Giving, after all, is always in season!
  4. Fix some gifts with an herb tea bag and 2 or 3 hard mints.
  5. Note cards. When cards are on sale, I buy several boxes and have them ready. Three or four cards with envelopes and tied with a ribbon make a quick, useful gift. If possible,  invest in stamps and add them to the envelopes.

Here’s your quick shopping list:  box of sandwich bags (fold flap kind), big bag of pretty candies; cookie mix or slice and bake; herb teas or cocoa mix. And if time permits, visit the book store for ‘pass it on’ cards.

I give gifts to everyone who serves us from the trash man to the mail carrier and the guy that brings our propane. And, I spend very little money.  I always carry a stash of gifts in my bag (not just at Christmas time either.) Now you will have a gift for each person who enters your home.

Hugs,

Have a great week of giving!  P.S. Be sure to share this link with others who may need these tips and sign up for the newsletter.