Tag Archives: stress

New Beginnings as We Head Into Summer

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Summer officially began this week. So far in the Ozarks we’ve had a great spring, perhaps more rain at one time that we wished but it’s worth it when we see the clear streams flowing briskly. Today I watched fishermen line the banks of a creek wanting to catch ‘the big one’.

For some of us, summer holiday means change in our routine, new beginnings. Family caregivers may face additional stress as they are faced with more mouths to feed, more laundry, less time for themselves. In another family, school out could mean more help at home, maybe a vacation.

Speaking of summer and new beginnings, at the end of this article I will let you know one way my summer got off to a good start. You won’t want to miss it, but first I have some fun ideas just for you.

I want to help you celebrate the wonders of summer, even with a busy schedule and overwhelming responsibilities.  You’ve heard me say this before, take a few minutes for yourself-by yourself to consider your wants and needs.

I want to warn you ahead of time; you will probably think this is too simple or even silly and could not be any value to your hectic lifestyle. I challenge you to indulge me this one time and try it, please.

1. Determine one thing that would help your days and weeks go smoother; just one thing. What is it that takes you away for a brief respite? Settle on one thing.

2. Plan a specific time to do that one thing at least one hour of each week. Schedule it and keep that schedule as much as possible.

3. Call this time–even one hour–your vacation. Plan for it, celebrate it and look forward to the next week for another ‘vacation’.

 These fun vacation ideas should get you thinking about what you can do for one hour or more if you a week.

1. Do you have a friend or relative that you keep meaning to call but never get around to it? Why not make that your destination for next week. During the week as he or she comes to mind, jot down thoughts about them, perhaps questions you’d like to ask or things you want to tell them. Find all the positive things you can to jot down and be prepared to have fun with this call. Remember, it’s not an interview, it’s a vacation!

2. Do you have a destination in mind, another state you’d like to visit? Order some brochures from that state and schedule an afternoon for your trip. On vacation day, fix you an appropriate snack and enjoy the scenery as you look through their catalog. There’s no harm in picking out some favorite spots for that someday when you may have the time to actually visit there.

3. Now it’s your turn. Remember that I asked you what your wants and needs were? Choose one here and plan your day, ½ day, or hour. Let me hear from you, please.

Now to how my summer began. It was my honor this week to be interviewed for Author Interviews by Suzanne Lieurance, The Working Writer’s Coach. I think you might enjoy the interview. Simply click this link and be sure to leave a comment. THANKS! http://www.bestauthorinterviews.com/139/susie-kinslow-adams-my-mother-my-child/

Praying for you to have a cool and blessed summer.

Hugs,

Click here for more information about MY MOTHER MY CHILD

Keeping a Journal When Caring for Family

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Do you find it difficult to journal, or are you one of those persons that jot down every tiny thing that happens? Some find it hard to put into words their feelings while others think it unnecessary.

Let me share with you a few of my journal entries written in January five years before Mother died:
Mother is watching the parade of colorful birds feeding outside the window, including more than a dozen bright red cardinals. The sun is coming up over the hill adding diamonds to the snow-packed yard. Crystal limbs hang heavy and beautiful in the shimmering sunlight. After days of being extremely ill, she is doing great and going to be okay. The promise of a new day beckons and I’m ready! It’s a new year, time for renewed commitments; hopes for a better tomorrow.

Only three days later I wrote:
I have such an overwhelming sense of my need for the Lord today. Mom’s been so sick again. I wonder if she’ll need to be hospitalized. I checked on her then sat down with my Bible. Before turning a page, I felt those tears run down my cheek and my spirit praying, “Lord, I need You. I am so totally helpless. I cannot make these decisions concerning Mother and our family without You. Little seemingly ordinary decisions loom heavy in my heart and I need You so much.”

One week later the journal continues:
I’m so excited I can barely contain myself. Earlier as I snuggled on Russell’s shoulder and we talked, I felt a renewed sense of wonder and peace. When I took Mother’s second cup of coffee to her room, she was as bright-eyed and full of smiles as she ever had been. She had brushed her own hair and was eager to face this new day. And so am I.

I am so thankful to have these writings; most of which no one will ever read. Many of them are too personal to share, at least for now. However, having the journals has given me a sense of peace about my years of caring for her. When I begin to wonder if I could have done more, I can look back and realize what a difficult time it was for each of us. I can know that we were in God’s hands and did the best we could.

Reading these entries reminds me how much we loved her. I can recall God’s overwhelming presence in the most difficult times and find comfort. I see how He showered us with His blessings over and over again.
You do not need to be a writer to journal. You may never ever write a book or even a short story. You may not want to share any of your journaling with a single soul and that is okay. But, I challenge you to write anyway. It’s therapeutic to write your feelings down on paper. Writing from the moment of confusion, anger or even the feeling of helplessness will often help sort things out later. The key is to write your thoughts as soon as you can and close the book.

You will find many of my journal entries in my book, MY MOTHER MY CHILD. I will tell you honestly, there are volumes of notes left out. These, at least for now, are shared only by God and me. They are written on napkins, scrap paper, sales receipts, whatever was handy at the time. They are priceless personal treasures.

I pray you will make some priceless personal treasures of your own this week. Try it, I promise you’ll like it. Let me hear from you.
Hugs,

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Refreshing Wisdom from a Young Caregiving Mother

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My thanks to Ashley Haupt for today’s article. I appreciate her insight; I hope this will be an encouragement to all caregivers, whether for wee ones or the elderly.

My toenails depress me.

They aren’t particularly problematic. They’re perfectly functional, average toenails. But you see, I like them to be painted and pretty. Unpainted toenails, or at least MY unpainted toenails, depress me. I’m not one to get regular manicures or pedicures or even to have frequently painted fingernails. In fact, the only pedicure I’ve ever had was before my wedding seven years ago. But I do like to keep my toenails painted so that when I take off my socks and tootle around the house barefoot, they look cute instead of resembling winter mushrooms shocked by a sudden spring.

So why do my toenails depress me? Because I haven’t had time to paint them. No, that’s not entirely true. I haven’t had uninterrupted time to paint them when I felt like it and when they had time to dry. That’s more like it.

I am a stay at home mom with three kids 5, 3, and 1. I am the primary caregiver. Caregivers for the elderly or the young have much in common: constant, time-consuming responsibility that is both physical and emotional, need for respite or shared stress, and lack of time to tend to themselves.

In the grand scheme, painted toenails are a small thing, what we call a “first world problem.” But small things can add up to a broader picture of self neglect which if untended, can lead to depression. The word “depression” means “to lower in worth or value.” On one hand, we know that to serve others above ourselves is the very concept Jesus lived and died by. But on the other hand, when we lower our own worth to the point of becoming depressed, we are increasingly unable to ministry and serve others. We serve best when we have balance, loving ourselves and others, tending to both. Anne Lamott writes, “I get thirsty people glasses of water, even if that thirsty person is just me.”

Painting my toenails, eating a meal while it’s still hot, reading a book just for fun, these are small pleasures that represent pieces of the composite ME. If I deny myself everything I like, I become wasted and thin, weak and withered. I must fill up in Christ, in personal time, in small pleasures received by faith, in order to love others and serve them richly.

If you are a caregiver with primary responsibility, consider scheduling some small pleasures into your week. As you enjoy them, remember to love who you are and fill up on the love of your Creator who loves you, too. You might find yourself more refreshed and ready to serve as a result.

Read more of Ashley’s comments on her blog: 

Hugs,

My Mother My Child will make a thoughtful gift book for all ages. I am grateful for  testimonies from young and older who have been helped and encouraged.