Tag Archives: stress

Tips for Handling Grief during the Holidays

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Tips for Handling Grief during the HolidaysDealing with death of loved one and holidays.

Holidays are difficult for those who have lost loved ones. It becomes especially difficult to celebrate with family and friends when the loss is someone close, a parent, grandparent, spouse or child.

Adding to the difficulty is those feelings of “if only …” or “I wish I …” Often those feelings are not recent, but have been nurtured for months or even years. We can think “if only I would have done more, been more available, listened more closely, made better decisions,” Or, “I wish he/she were here for this gathering. I wish he/she could meet everyone, or see the beautiful decorations.”

We can be hurting others as we grieve.

When we dwell on the one who is absent, without realizing it, we may be cheating those who remain and even hurting them.

For instance, if you are at a holiday gathering or celebration and your thoughts and your conversations are continually dwelling on the one who has died, you are telling the host and the rest of the family that whatever they do will never be enough.

Tips to help face the seemingly unbearable during holidays.

Here are some ideas to help turn your thoughts away from yourself and onto others.

1. Accept the situation as it is: that person is gone; wishing it were different will only bring more sorrow and no solutions.
2. Remember fondly what your loved one enjoyed about the gatherings and honor them by expressing that joy for yourself and others.
3. Do not dwell on their absence. Everyone knows they are gone and sorely missed. Determine to love and honor those who remain and focus on their needs and preferences.
4. Occupy yourself with finding things to do for others. This could be real simple small projects or offers to help others prepare for the holidays. (A word of caution here, when someone says they really don’t need help, they may really prefer no help. If you sense that happening, move on.)
5. Volunteer during the holidays. Find some projects at church or in your community that you could help with and occupy your mind with others’ needs.

You can honor the one who is gone.

You will never forget that loved one, but you can honor his/her life by giving 100% of yourself to those who are present today.

Sending prayers your way as you prepare for a blessed and exciting time of Thanksgiving and fun.

Hugs,

For more tips on facing holidays with less stress, click here

Safe Place to Share and to Learn

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Safe Place to Share and to LearnWhere you can go now to get information and share information.

As we look at statistics about caregivers and who they are, think about your own situation or someone you know who is caring for someone on a regular basis. Where do you go for help? Who will understand? I want to share a great place to find some help and encouragement.

A few statistics about family caregivers.

Three out of four family caregivers who care for someone over the age of 18 either work now or have been working while providing care. Two thirds have had to either give up their jobs or have made adjustments to their work life. One in five family caregivers have had to take a leave of absence.

Family caregivers spend an average of twenty hours a week caring for their loved ones. Many provide 40 hours a week or more.

You are not alone in your situation.

We can easily see that we are not alone in our struggles to care for others and ourselves. Years ago, I felt like I was the only person who would understand my frustrations and yes, even my joys. I would have benefited much from someone who had walked the path before me.

Two lessons I learned when caring for Mother.

Often we get overloaded and stressed out when we are not aware of helps available. I have learned two great lessons through my caregiving years:

1. I cannot do everything myself either physically or mentally.

2. It is worth my time to learn what others are doing in my situation; to explore options.

Here is information about my favorite caregiving website.

I have found this website to be full of helpful ideas and solutions from those who have been in a similar situation and learned from it.

This on-line resource has undergone some upgrades recently; there are many free articles, videos and e-books available as well as items to purchase. There are even contests and games if you have time for a little diversion.

I was privileged to write a few articles for some of their gift book series. The website address for Caregiving.com is http://www.caregiving.com and I think you will find it helpful.

For most of us, finding a safe place to chat and share our hearts is all we need. Talking things out is often the best answer to our problems. Please do let me know if this is helpful to you.

Hugs,

Looking forward to hearing from you; you are an encouragement to me. Watch for great news coming soon; you’ll be the first to know!

 

5 Tips on Communicating with Alzheimers or Dementia Patients

5 Tips on Communicating with Alzheimers or Dementia PatientsCommunicating with Alzheimers or Dementia Patients

Whether friend, family or caregiver, communicating with Alzheimers or dementia patients is stressful and often awkward and uncomfortable.

Consider how confusing and frustrating this must be to the individual coping with these changes. Here are some useful tips to ease tension and encourage open communication.

  1. Make eye contact as you enter the room. Look directly into their eyes when you talk. For the best results in establishing any communication, do not look down on the person. If they are seated, sit beside them when possible. Talking at eye level communicates genuine caring.
  2. Address the person by his/her name; the name they are familiar with. Be sure your voice and expressions give clear signs of love and concern. Avoid using “sweetie” or “honey” as they need to hear and recognize their own name.
  3. Be sensitive of the individuals’ personal space. A confused person may feel threatened if you are too close or you insist on hugging them. Observe heir reactions to know what touching is acceptable. A warm handshake and caring smile will help them grow comfortable in your presence and feel less threatened.
  4. Listen for key words or phrases. As you begin to understand what they are trying to talk about, try repeating a sentence or two in your own words. Letting others know you are truly wanting to understand will go a long way in opening dialog.
  5. Proceed with confidence. Remember the person you know and love is still there and most likely wants/needs to share his/her feelings. Do not be afraid to attempt conversation, however limited it may be.

As you find comfortable ways to show love and acceptance of your loved one, you will be rewarded. The reward may come in an unexpected kiss on the cheek, a squeeze of your hand, or a simple gleam in the eye of one hungering for assurance.

Imagine for a moment how you would feel if you could not share your feelings or desires with others. Often a confused person is waiting for affirmation and encouragement and you and I can do that for them.

Blessings on you as you give of your best to a hurting world.

Hugs,

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