Tag Archives: stress

Safe Place to Share and to Learn

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Safe Place to Share and to LearnWhere you can go now to get information and share information.

As we look at statistics about caregivers and who they are, think about your own situation or someone you know who is caring for someone on a regular basis. Where do you go for help? Who will understand? I want to share a great place to find some help and encouragement.

A few statistics about family caregivers.

Three out of four family caregivers who care for someone over the age of 18 either work now or have been working while providing care. Two thirds have had to either give up their jobs or have made adjustments to their work life. One in five family caregivers have had to take a leave of absence.

Family caregivers spend an average of twenty hours a week caring for their loved ones. Many provide 40 hours a week or more.

You are not alone in your situation.

We can easily see that we are not alone in our struggles to care for others and ourselves. Years ago, I felt like I was the only person who would understand my frustrations and yes, even my joys. I would have benefited much from someone who had walked the path before me.

Two lessons I learned when caring for Mother.

Often we get overloaded and stressed out when we are not aware of helps available. I have learned two great lessons through my caregiving years:

1. I cannot do everything myself either physically or mentally.

2. It is worth my time to learn what others are doing in my situation; to explore options.

Here is information about my favorite caregiving website.

I have found this website to be full of helpful ideas and solutions from those who have been in a similar situation and learned from it.

This on-line resource has undergone some upgrades recently; there are many free articles, videos and e-books available as well as items to purchase. There are even contests and games if you have time for a little diversion.

I was privileged to write a few articles for some of their gift book series. The website address for Caregiving.com is http://www.caregiving.com and I think you will find it helpful.

For most of us, finding a safe place to chat and share our hearts is all we need. Talking things out is often the best answer to our problems. Please do let me know if this is helpful to you.

Hugs,

Looking forward to hearing from you; you are an encouragement to me. Watch for great news coming soon; you’ll be the first to know!

 

5 Tips on Communicating with Alzheimers or Dementia Patients

5 Tips on Communicating with Alzheimers or Dementia PatientsCommunicating with Alzheimers or Dementia Patients

Whether friend, family or caregiver, communicating with Alzheimers or dementia patients is stressful and often awkward and uncomfortable.

Consider how confusing and frustrating this must be to the individual coping with these changes. Here are some useful tips to ease tension and encourage open communication.

  1. Make eye contact as you enter the room. Look directly into their eyes when you talk. For the best results in establishing any communication, do not look down on the person. If they are seated, sit beside them when possible. Talking at eye level communicates genuine caring.
  2. Address the person by his/her name; the name they are familiar with. Be sure your voice and expressions give clear signs of love and concern. Avoid using “sweetie” or “honey” as they need to hear and recognize their own name.
  3. Be sensitive of the individuals’ personal space. A confused person may feel threatened if you are too close or you insist on hugging them. Observe heir reactions to know what touching is acceptable. A warm handshake and caring smile will help them grow comfortable in your presence and feel less threatened.
  4. Listen for key words or phrases. As you begin to understand what they are trying to talk about, try repeating a sentence or two in your own words. Letting others know you are truly wanting to understand will go a long way in opening dialog.
  5. Proceed with confidence. Remember the person you know and love is still there and most likely wants/needs to share his/her feelings. Do not be afraid to attempt conversation, however limited it may be.

As you find comfortable ways to show love and acceptance of your loved one, you will be rewarded. The reward may come in an unexpected kiss on the cheek, a squeeze of your hand, or a simple gleam in the eye of one hungering for assurance.

Imagine for a moment how you would feel if you could not share your feelings or desires with others. Often a confused person is waiting for affirmation and encouragement and you and I can do that for them.

Blessings on you as you give of your best to a hurting world.

Hugs,

Thanks to those who are letting me know how the weekly newsletters have benefited you. Be sure you are signed up and encourage others to do so.

5 Ways to Listen With Compassion

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          In our hectic, busy world, one of the greatest gifts you can give to your family and others in your care is to listen well. Compassionate listening is an art; it takes practice. It takes patience. It takes time.

            Charles Dickens has said: No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.  One of the best ways to lighten a load is to learn to become a good listener.

1     Try not to judge another persons reactions to a situation or give unsolicited advice. You may not relate to what the person is saying, but it is real to them. This can be tricky if you are caring for someone with memory issues; however, they need a compassionate ear.

2     Think about the person you are listening to. Consider their health and well-being. Are they confined to a chair, bed, or room for most of their time? Before you hurriedly walk away, think about the fact that you may be the only person all day that has actually taken a few minutes to listen to their story.

3     Learn to listen carefully for clues as someone talks to you. Do they sound overly concerned about what should be an insignificant matter? Could there be more to the story than is being said? Could there be hidden reasons for their concern?

4     Learn to give appropriate feedback. Instead of saying, “I know how you feel,” try saying, “That must be difficult for you.” Or simply say “I’m sorry you are feeling this way.”  As I visited with a recent widow this week, I could not say I knew how she felt even though I had experienced the loss of a husband. My experience was not hers; I can understand the hurt, but I needed to hear her story, hold her hand, and say “I’m so sorry.”

5     This last tip may seem to be the most obvious. However, it is often the most neglected. Give a smile and a gentle hug. A smile has a tremendous healing effect on everyone. Pray for the situation when appropriate; at least add the concern to your personal prayer list. A simple pat on the hand or shoulder and a genuine smile can make the day for someone. Good medicine for them–and good for you!

As you take time to really listen, you will reduce tension and build trust. I like to keep a small notebook handy to jot down concerns I have or things I want to remember for the next conversation. I need the reminders — you may not forget as I do!

You have a great week and as you listen to others, allow time to listen to Our Heavenly Father as well; He is the best Compassionate Listener!

Hugs,