Tag Archives: mother

Overwhelmed Caregiver: When Spring isn’t so Grand

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Overwhelmed Caregiver: When Spring isn't so GrandSpring is one of my favorite seasons, a time of blessing.  I’ve spent hours watching the birds scurry around to build nests and hunt worms. The world seems to awaken overnight; animals attack every new blade of tender grass as we would a plate of chocolates. It’s a happy time, a great reminder of God’s everlasting care for His creation.

Even the splendor of spring can’t hide our pain!

I recall a particular spring day when my thoughts were not so favorable:
“Little Robin with your head held so high, do you know my heart is breaking? You strut proudly and sing … chirping along, grabbing a bug to eat as you go. I’m almost mad at you for being so happy! Doesn’t the whole world need to stop and feel my pain … Some would say you’re here to cheer me up. Well, sorry little birdie, it’s not working!”

Feeling overwhelmed as a caregiver, mother, friend, is inevitable.

I had been watching Mother lay in a hospital bed for days, wondering each day if it would be her last breath. Her window opened to beautiful, flower laden lawns filled with cheerful little robins. My feelings stormed inside; I wanted to chase the birds away, to cry, to scream, to do something to let the world know my heart was breaking inside. Making it doubly hard was memories of Mother and I often rejoicing together at God’s creation and enjoying the beautiful robins at play.

There is help and there is hope.

There are times when we all feel overwhelmed with circumstances around us. I deal with some of those thoughts in My Mother My Child  in the chapter called “Going Home”. It was difficult to live through; hard to write, but important to share.

One of the greatest helps I have found is simply a listening ear. I hope you have someone you trust to share your feelings with. When I cared for Mother, I often felt so alone. I did not realize so much of what was happening with her was a natural part of aging, and yes, of dying. If you care for anyone at all, find some support; you need it and so do those in your care.

Psalm 40:1 says it best: “I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry.”

Hugs,

My Mother My Child will make a thoughtful gift book for all ages. I am grateful for  testimonies from young and older who have been helped and encouraged.

Using Music Therapy in Every Household

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Using Music Therapy in Every HouseholdHelp fight stress, loneliness, boredom with music therapy.

Caregivers, consider how long a day confined at home; alone for extended periods of time would feel. You may sit in the same chair for hours. You hear others talking though not necessarily to you. What will occupy your mind?

How about your personal life. Find yourself stressed? Troubled? Stewing over things you cannot control?

Music can play a huge part in helping you care for others.

Our minds are busy all the time. With no diversion, we are prone to dwell on the struggles we have; the mistakes we have made; the what-ifs of life’s journey. Our troubles swell up inside us and we are agitated or “down in the dumps” before we realize what is happening.

Here are some helpful tips to get you started.

1. Keep music playing softly in the background to provide a peaceful atmosphere. Music soothes the soul.
2. Consider the preferences of those in your care. If elderly, find some music from their generation; an oldies radio station; or slow paced instrumentals.
3. Play gospel music for a lively change of pace. My elderly mother would sit straight up in her chair and lean toward the television set when Gaither’s Videos were playing. Her eyes would brighten, her smile return, and she was peaceful.
4. Encourage others to sing with you or hum some favorite songs. I’ll be the first to say, “I do not sing”. However, when Mother was up to it, we “sang” together and laughed. After all, the Bible says ” … make a joyful NOISE … ” and that we did!
5. Make sure the music is happy music; stay away from melodies that sound lonely or scary. This may sound a little over-simplified but I have walked into homes and wondered how you could sit there for a long period of time without screaming! The music should help you relax and focus on the positive side of life.

Music has a healing effect on even the most difficult patient.

It is known that music can greatly help those with dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease cope with daily activities. (Note: next week I will cover some amazing results in more detail.)

Here is the thing: you work hard to keep your home in order, food prepared, schedules met. Spend a little time this week thinking about your “air quality”; could you use a little music perk-up?

Hugs,

Click here to check out my online article on   5 Tips To Ease Stress in The Home

Lift Chair Options for Family Caregivers

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Physician’s order for a lift chair.  

Mother’s physician wrote an order for a lift chair and we quickly headed for a local medical equipment store. It had been some time since Mother could get out of her chair by herself and the tugging and lifting her was not good for her or for us. I was sure this would be an easy answer to a difficult situation.

How a simple order became complicated.
The chair we chose was perfect—right color, right size for the space, and right price. She was a giggly girl as she sat down and tried to get comfortable in her new chair. Her short, stubby frame was perched on the edge of the cushion and her legs dangled not touching the floor. I helped her scoot back into the chair and raised the foot rest only to watch the back automatically recline as the foot rest came up.
She was not happy! I was not happy! I had hoped this purchase would not only help her get up and down easily, but also enable her to keep her legs elevated. Obviously, I had more shopping to do, much to learn, and many more chairs to try.

Solution: Consider four types of chairs from my “Lift Chair 101 Class” before you shop.
1. Determine if your need is only to raise the legs while in a sitting position (and not necessarily fully recline). A Two Position Lift Chair is most economical for those just needing help getting up.
2. A Three Position Lift Chair adds a recline position although not a full recline. Again, this chair fits a modest budget and is usually available in many colors and fabrics.
3. Most manufacturers list an Infinite Position Lift Chair which is the most versatile of all. This chair elevates the feet above the heart and has separate controls for the foot rest and the back; it will recline fully. Naturally with more choices comes a bigger price tag.
4. There are now available Heavy Duty Lift Chairs for those with weights of 350# up to 700# and those who are taller than average.

Who will pay for this equipment?

Medicare may pay for the lift mechanism (usually $250 – $300) only if they have not paid on a manual or power wheelchair. You will want to check Medicare guidelines in your state.
In my next newsletter, I will offer eight specific things you need to know before you shop for a lift chair. I will also tell you the specific solution to Mother’s dilemma and why we made that choice for her.

Hugs,