Tag Archives: family

Tips for Visiting Bereaved during Holidays

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Tips for Visiting Bereaved during Holidays Holidays are a time for food, fun, and families. Sudden death of friend or relative during holidays can cause added stress and confusion as to how to react; what to do.

I know, dear reader, you are a caregiver, either as a mother, family member, or professional. You hurt when others hurt. You are wired to help; you want to be there for those you love. You strive to keep normal holiday activity going at home as well.

Here are a few tips I trust you’ll find helpful as you face difficult situations through this season. Let me hear from you with pointers you may have.

1. Do not feel you have to bring a dish of food each time you visit. If they are involved in an active church or have a large family nearby, there is probably an abundance of prepared foods already. If you want to bring something, consider the list at the end of this article for some helpful ideas. I speak  from experience, these items are appreciated and often much needed. Not only are you bringing useful gifts, you are helping in ways you cannot imagine.
2. Ask about their needs beyond tangible items. Is there something you can do to help prepare for holiday activities? Decorating? Shopping? Addressing cards? Run errands? Clean house or yard?
3. Be sensitive to their time needs when calling or sending e-mails. Keep conversations relatively short and to the point. Spend more time listening than talking and hang up soon. Do not send unnecessary e-mails and messages that give them more to deal with.
4. Allow them to discuss their loss if they want. Some will need to talk about their loss more than others. When ready, they may need to spend extra time reminiscing, crying, and sharing. Be a good listener but learn when to give a hug and move on. Trust the Lord to give you wisdom.

Here are very practical items you can bring instead of food dishes.
1. Paper products such as paper towels, toilet paper and napkins. A thoughtful gift is small packages of Kleenex that can be put in each room or carried in pockets. I recall times when I would have given a mint for a simple tissue to dry my tears and blow my nose!
2. Paper bowls and plates and silverware are always welcome. Also, if there is to be lots of food brought in, think about bringing a few storage bowls with lids of various sizes for leftovers or to send food home with someone.
3. Consider coffee, creamer, sugar, hot chocolate and other drink mixes. Perhaps a few packages of cookies nice for them to have on hand as well. Be sure to provide paper cups for both hot and cold drinks.
4. Whether the family is larger or small, think about a few items to have on hand when they are not up to cooking. Sandwich things like peanut butter and jelly or packaged tuna or cheese and crackers are good. A few apples, oranges and grapes are welcome choices. Consider a jar of peanuts or mixed nuts.

The list is endless as you consider the needs of a household. As always, the best gift you can give is yourself; a sincere hug and prayer goes a long way in the healing process. Just knowing you are there for someone lifts their spirits and gives strength to continue on.

Praying for each of you a blessed and safe holiday season as you care for others along your path.

Hugs,

For more articles, click on the “Articles for Caregivers” tab above this article.

Tips for Handling Grief during the Holidays

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Tips for Handling Grief during the HolidaysDealing with death of loved one and holidays.

Holidays are difficult for those who have lost loved ones. It becomes especially difficult to celebrate with family and friends when the loss is someone close, a parent, grandparent, spouse or child.

Adding to the difficulty is those feelings of “if only …” or “I wish I …” Often those feelings are not recent, but have been nurtured for months or even years. We can think “if only I would have done more, been more available, listened more closely, made better decisions,” Or, “I wish he/she were here for this gathering. I wish he/she could meet everyone, or see the beautiful decorations.”

We can be hurting others as we grieve.

When we dwell on the one who is absent, without realizing it, we may be cheating those who remain and even hurting them.

For instance, if you are at a holiday gathering or celebration and your thoughts and your conversations are continually dwelling on the one who has died, you are telling the host and the rest of the family that whatever they do will never be enough.

Tips to help face the seemingly unbearable during holidays.

Here are some ideas to help turn your thoughts away from yourself and onto others.

1. Accept the situation as it is: that person is gone; wishing it were different will only bring more sorrow and no solutions.
2. Remember fondly what your loved one enjoyed about the gatherings and honor them by expressing that joy for yourself and others.
3. Do not dwell on their absence. Everyone knows they are gone and sorely missed. Determine to love and honor those who remain and focus on their needs and preferences.
4. Occupy yourself with finding things to do for others. This could be real simple small projects or offers to help others prepare for the holidays. (A word of caution here, when someone says they really don’t need help, they may really prefer no help. If you sense that happening, move on.)
5. Volunteer during the holidays. Find some projects at church or in your community that you could help with and occupy your mind with others’ needs.

You can honor the one who is gone.

You will never forget that loved one, but you can honor his/her life by giving 100% of yourself to those who are present today.

Sending prayers your way as you prepare for a blessed and exciting time of Thanksgiving and fun.

Hugs,

For more tips on facing holidays with less stress, click here

Zesty Italian Stew in the Crock Pot

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Zesty Italian Stew in the Crock PotThe air is crisp outside; winds are blowing in some cooler weather; leaves are falling all around us. I feel the need to put on a big pot of stew for my family and those I care for.

Tired of the old standby: beef stew with potatoes, carrots, onions, celery? Try this great Italian Stew for variety. If you want meat in it, add a pound or more of Italian sausage (mild or hot) cut in chunks, and browned in hot oil.

Ingredients
1 package frozen spinach
2 packages frozen Italian vegetables (with beans)
1 can Italian tomatoes
2 cups (more or less) cubed potatoes
2 medium cubed zucchinis
1 can sliced mushrooms
Other frozen or fresh vegetables as preferred
1 can tomato soup

For seasoning add
1 teaspoon dried basil leaves
onion flakes
pepper to taste
bouillion cubes

Put all ingredients in crock pot; cook on low 4 hours. Add 1 can tomato paste and cook an additional 30 minutes on low.

Great served with hot garlic bread. For a really hungry crew, add a big salad with vinaigrette dressing and you will have a winning meal.

Italian stew is one of those recipes you can easily adjust to your taste. For variety add pasta such as small shells or a can or two of beans.

Happy Eating!

Hugs,

Click here for help with dietary needs as you plan meals.