Tag Archives: family

Preparing to Give When You are Give Out

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Christmas came early this year, I am sure of it. Holidays are often  stressful times for caregivers. We may not be able to follow traditions, give as we usually do, or keep everything going smoothly.

Giving can be a big struggle at Christmas. We often are stretched to the limit on finances, time and energy. There is not time to shop or the money to buy what we want.

Here are some simple ideas to move you and your household into the giving spirit without the stress.

First, take a minute to be thankful for what you do have; for life and freedoms, for air to breathe, water to drink, eyes to see. Be thankful you can be there for someone else in their time of need.

Second, be cheerful about establishing new traditions if need be. Life is full of changes, make them fun and exciting. Simply say to friends and family, “We are celebrating differently this year.” It may mean pot luck family meals instead of you doing all the cooking.  It may mean spending much, much less on gifts this year.

Third, plan ahead to be a lavish giver this season. (No, it is not too late to plan ahead-see quick shopping list below.) We know from experience that is more blessed to give than to receive, so go for it. Here are some fun things to have on hand so you can be a cheerful giver in trying times.

  1. Cookies. Just one cookie in a small sandwich bag tied with inexpensive curly ribbons can be an encouragement to the clerk at the store.  Purchase cookie mix or slice and bake when on sale. Package them soon and tie with ribbons so your resident “mice” will know they are spoken for!
  2. Candies. I keep a bag in my purse of hard candies (pretty ones for the season) and give them out to people I meet. It may be a couple in McDonald’s or the weary lady waiting in line at the counter. Add a sincere smile and a “God bless you” and you have made someone’s day special.
  3. Little ‘pass it on’ cards with cute pictures and sayings. These are usually found at the book stores priced at just a few cents each. Again, I watch for the sales and keep a big stash in my bag. Giving, after all, is always in season!
  4. Fix some gifts with an herb tea bag and 2 or 3 hard mints.
  5. Note cards. When cards are on sale, I buy several boxes and have them ready. Three or four cards with envelopes and tied with a ribbon make a quick, useful gift. If possible,  invest in stamps and add them to the envelopes.

Here’s your quick shopping list:  box of sandwich bags (fold flap kind), big bag of pretty candies; cookie mix or slice and bake; herb teas or cocoa mix. And if time permits, visit the book store for ‘pass it on’ cards.

I give gifts to everyone who serves us from the trash man to the mail carrier and the guy that brings our propane. And, I spend very little money.  I always carry a stash of gifts in my bag (not just at Christmas time either.) Now you will have a gift for each person who enters your home.

Hugs,

Have a great week of giving!  P.S. Be sure to share this link with others who may need these tips and sign up for the newsletter.

 

Vital Information Not Just for Caregivers

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Are you familiar with these terms: Durable Power of Attorney? Health Care Directive? Advanced Directives? What is the difference between a Living Will and a Health Care Directive? Have you made end of life decisions for yourself as well as your family (all ages)? Are they up-to-date? Does the physician and hospital have copies?

We are often careful to make sure these things are in place for the elderly; for those in our care. However, every day we hear of accidents, crimes, and illnesses with no respect to age or infirmity. Suppose you or a loved one faces a major crises; have decisions been made before hand concerning the wishes of the individual?

Recently I attended an End of Life Seminar presented by a Hospital Hospice Group. Every individual should attend such a conference. In our state of Missouri, hospice groups not only provide for the individual nearing death, they provide needed resources for the client and family. They are equipped to answer concerns about financial needs and grief counseling. Hospice is also suited for dealing with pain; it is what they do on a regular basis and they are very good at it.

Only when you are no longer able to make or communicate your decisions does your advance directive go into effect. Generally it is effective until the time of your death and is valid in another state, especially if it is both notarized and witnessed. The right to make an advance directive has been constitutionally affirmed. Healthcare providers have both legal and ethical duties to respect the patient’s wishes.

I know from personal experience, even knowing Mother’s wishes, it is often difficult to let them go when that time comes. We want to hold on to our loved ones as long as possible. Let me give you a sentence to hold on to that will help you immensely in that situation: It is not about you or me, it is about them. Remember their desires and honor what the patient wanted as much as possible.

In this short article, it is impossible to address these issues in depth. I am hoping I will have perked your interest enough to seek out some help and make sure these things are in place for yourself, your client, and your family. Contact your local hospice groups for direction and help. Many of these issues can be handled safely and legally through local agencies without the cost of attorneys. Be sure you know your state’s requirements.

I believe the most important end of life issue was settled on the cross. For myself, I know where I am going and Jesus paid the price. I’m thankful for the peace that promise brings. I would like to simply close my eyes some night and open them in the arms of the Lord but that is not mine to determine. However, I want to do all I can to make my leaving easier for those who will care for me in the end. I hope this article will be of help to you.

Hugs and Blessings,

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Weary Caregiver Last Straw or Surprise Blessing

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Often when we are consumed with the daily tasks of caregiving, we do more reacting to situations than acting upon them. Such was the case recently as I faced an unusual dilemma at our country home.

For  several days, some stray  chickens wandered up and down the gravel road in front of our house. Most moved on or were captured except for one lone fat, white hen.

My family and I had to be out of town a few days and I was sure she would disappear like the others while we were gone. We returned late and tired only to find our front porch was filled with leaves, feathers, and “presents” from the hen. She had claimed a soft cushioned chair as her personal roost.

This chicken was more than a nuisance to me; I abhorred her messes; I was not at all pleased with what she was doing to my flowerbeds and front yard; and I was frustrated over all the failed efforts to get rid of her. No one claimed ownership; friends promising help never showed up.

I resented the time she stole from me; I needed to be focused on other duties, not finding a home for a chicken. I considered a fried chicken dinner with biscuits and gravy as an option until I recalled what it takes to get from live chicken to frying pan!

Today I quietly watched her through our screen door. She was a beautiful bird, only God could color those feathers exactly right so they formed a beautiful pattern on her wings.  She strutted around as if she were queen of her domain; and, at that moment, she was!

As that proud bird hunted and pecked in the green grasses, I thought of families who would give much to have just one chicken. There are hungry people here in America as well as in other countries. A stray bird could mean an occasional egg for breakfast or perhaps make several meals including stock for a soup.

We and those we care for will go to bed tonight with full tummies (without killing the chicken) and someone will eventually claim her as their own. I will replant my flowers and scrub the porch and wait for the next great adventure to unfold.

Wherever you are in your life’s journey, I pray today you can look at those inevitable “stray chickens” that come to roost in a different light. What would God have you see from the experience? No matter how heavy your load, do you have a little something you might share to encourage another right now? What can you choose to be thankful for in your present situation?

“If you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”  Isaiah 58:10-11

Hugs,

P.S. In counting my blessings, you are tops. Thanks for dropping by; don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter and keep your eye out for “stray chickens.”