Tag Archives: encourage

You Can Make Time to Write While Caregiving

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You Can Make Time to Write While CaregivingCaring for Your Loved One

You are busy caring for your loved one and someone casually offers a little advice: “you need to be writing your caregiving experiences down.”

Have you been there? You would like to tell others your experiences and hopefully be an encouragement. However, right now, daily survival seems to be the key word of the day.

How to Write a Book

Even knowing I was to write a book, I was in awe of the magnitude of the idea. So you are thinking that knowing this was to be, I had this wonderful notebook and pen in my pocket at all times.  I would be prepared to keep a running storyline as I lived each day.

No! No! Not! Truthfully, I began jotting notes on the most unbelievable scraps of paper available and tossed them into a bucket. Sometimes, I would write on a paper cup or the back of some important paper. Forming those notes into a book was another project.

Ten Interviews in Ten Days

Recently, I have been interviewed on ten occasions for a Virtual Book Tour. It has been challenging; perhaps some of these interviews may spark your enthusiasm to write a bit of your own story; we learn so much from each other as we share life experiences.

Here is a link to one of the most fun interviews; you will enjoy the creative questions from “Straight From the Author’s Mouth”.  Please, jot a note at the end of the article to encourage the interviewer and myself along our paths. Thanks!

Click here for a fun interview: http://straightfromtheauthorsmouth.blogspot.be/2015/05/straight-from-mouth-of-my-mother-my.html

Hugs,

My Mother My Child e-book is now available on Amazon.com.

Do We Care Enough to Listen with Our Heart

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No one cares about me.  “Don’t say that, I care!”

I keep hearing strange noises.  “Everything is okay, you are okay!”

I waited all day for you to come home.  “I’m sorry, I do the best I can!”

I’m no good for anything. Why don’t you just throw me in a hole?  “That’s so silly. Don’t talk like that!”

Well, dear friend, did I drag you down into the dumps with these conversations? Can you relate to a few of them?

Some of you are caring for or have cared for someone who seems to find a problem with everything you do. Perhaps they complain a lot, get impatient, and say the same things over and over and often wear you down.

How do you help them understand that you love them and really do want the best for them? How about sharpening your listening skills and breaking the habit of reacting to every comment made. Let’s look at the comments again with a different approach to each.

No one cares about me.  “Do you feel that way some time? I’m so sorry. I want you to know you are loved very much and we are very, very glad you are here.”

I keep hearing strange noises.  “Does that make you feel afraid? Perhaps you hear the heater or air conditioner coming on at night. (Or the pet cat or dog or ???) You can be sure that you are safe here.”

I waited all day for you to come home.  “Was it a long day for you? Perhaps we can find some things that interest you to help pass the time while I am gone. Have you some ideas?”

I’m no good for anything. Why don’t you just throw me in a hole?  “Do you worry about your health or dying? Are you missing your old friends? You are very special to us, we want you here for a long time. You can be sure you are important to our family.”

Of course, these comments would need adjusted to meet your particular needs. Did you notice the difference in reacting to a comment and really listening to one? When we really listen, we consider the person talking. Often they may still be grieving the loss of their independence, driver’s license, friends, health, eyesight. Their sadness, complaining and stubbornness may have more to do with those things than the situation at hand.

Learning to listen is a growing experience. Our nature is to solve the problem, give advice, encourage—sometimes, we argue or judge inappropriately. How much better to communicate with a listening ear. It does not mean the issue will not come up again tomorrow! (Note: this does not mean you must accept abuse or needless ridicule or guilt feelings. We’ll discuss this at a later time.)

We can learn from Jesus who said, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heaven laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

Hugs,

Read about my experiences in listening in  my book, MY MOTHER MY CHILD available here.

5 Easy Tips to Help Lighten Your Load

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Being Mother’s full time caregiver was often difficult work, filled with daily challenges. It took all the energies and resources I had available and then some. It changed my priorities, it tied me down and wore me out; it could seem to be a thankless job.

Can you relate? Are the tasks looming before you overwhelming at times?  Do you wish for help only to find the help was inadequate at best? Do you often feel you would have been better off to do the work yourself although you know you cannot do it all.

Like water heating in a teakettle; these feelings can quickly boil and soon break out into unkind words or actions if not held at bay. (I speak from experience here).

There are no easy answers or quick-fixes. People in each situation are different; circumstances vary; needs versus wants must be defined for your particular responsibilities.

Here are five simple ideas that helped me cope when the load seemed too heavy to carry.

#1 Breathe. Too simple? Not really! When you feel stress coming, stop long enough to look away from the situation and breathe deeply. Stand up tall, close your eyes and breathe in for five counts through your nose. Hold that a few seconds, then slowly breathe out through your mouth. Relax, repeat.

#2 Hum or sing a little bit. I confess I am not a singer (my entire family will agree). However, when things got really tough with Momma, I would sing softly, “Jesus loves me, this I know … “as I continued my work. Even today when life gets crazy around me, I softly sing that song and my spirit quiets inside.

#3 Exercise. Even when you feel you cannot do any exercise—no time, energy or ability—you can do something. A very simple stretch works wonders. Stand on tip toes behind a chair for balance and slowly lower and raise your body. Reach for the stars, one hand, then the other, then both. A few minutes every hour or so will help keep your blood flowing and your body limber.

#4 Write. Keep a notebook handy to jot down your feelings—good and not so good. Let all that anger flow from your brain through your fingers and onto the page. Don’t fail to find something good to write down about the one you are caring for and about yourself.

#5 Smile. Now, I know this suggestion sounds a little misplaced. Just try it, look in the mirror and smile—big, big cheesy grin. You tried it and giggled, didn’t you? Laughter IS the best medicine!

Perhaps caring for someone can be a thankless job and overwhelming at times. But truthfully,  it is foremost a fantastic blessing, an opportunity to be Jesus’ hands and feet to someone. It’s a privilege, an awesome responsibility, an opportunity to encourage, to make a hurting soul feel happy and loved. The ability to care is a gift from God.

“Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need! He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet streams. He gives me new strength. He helps me do what honors him the most.” (Psalm 23:1-3, TLB).

Blessings and hugs to you as you care for others,

Some thoughts taken from MY MOTHER MY CHILD available on this website.