Tag Archives: caring for family

Caregiving Help Managing Time and Tasks

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09 babyStart by doing what is necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you’re doing the impossible. ~ St. Francis of Assisi

It is a fact, you cannot do it all.

It is true, caring for family is a full-time job; you will never be completely caught up. Let me ask you: If you have a list of things to do today; which will you do first? I can tell you, you will do the easier task first—the task that appeals to you most. That will leave the more difficult, time-consuming tasks until last.

You must be prepared for inevitable interruptions.

On a day when I was facing more work than I could get done, the telephone rang. (At least this time it wasn’t a telemarketer!)

“It’s a beautiful day, how about going to town with me for some coffee? We’ll not be gone long and you need a break. You work so hard.”

“I’d love to but I need to catch up a few things; perhaps another time.” As I hung up the phone, I was angry with myself that I could not make time for coffee with a friend.

As I wilted into the chair for my private pity-party, the choice became clear, I could sit and moan and groan or I could take action. I chose the latter.

Armed with a pad, pen, and determination, I listed my tasks. First I listed all the things that absolutely were necessary to get done today. Then I listed those things that could be done in steps—bite-sized chunks instead of the entire project at once. Lastly, I listed those things that someone else could do for me (if they would) or things that could be left undone.

Here are some helpful hints from my planning time:

  • 1 Accept the truth in the statement: A woman’s work is never done; you never catch up!
  • 2 Develop a simple plan that will work for you and stick to it.
  • 3 Instead of going to the store, consider adjusting the menu and using what’s on hand.
  • 4 Shake the habit of piddling with papers; if you can’t tend to them immediately, put them in a basket to work through later (maybe while you are watching television.)
  • 5 Choose only one or two books to leave out; put the rest away until those are finished.
  • 6 Take time to reward yourself for a day well spent.

I was now on a mission.

In record time I made a casserole for dinner using items in the pantry and freezer instead of going to the store. While the casserole baked, I quickly chopped up a salad and washed what dishes I had used. Then I cleaned the kitchen and finished what was necessary in the bedroom and bathrooms and swept the front porch.

I saw that I had time now to clear off the books and “stuff” that had made a home on the dining table. Here is where I often get bogged down; I read every piece of paper on the table and browse the inviting books. Today my priority was to accomplish my goal and clear the table.

I discovered much of my concern was projects that I would not get done anyway; there will always be something left undone. On my third list dusting the blades on the ceiling fans, some mending, and washing the quilts could wait until a more opportune time.  I could add mending to tomorrow’s list and make sure to include it in my schedule.

Wow! It’s still early in the afternoon and I am through with today’s chores. Where is my telephone?

“Cindy, are you still game for a get-together? Why don’t you come over and we’ll have coffee and cookies on the deck and enjoy this beautiful day? See you soon.”

“To everything there is a season, and a time for everything under the sun … “Ecclesiastes

Hugs,

Have you read MY MOTHER MY CHILD? If so, please follow this link and leave a comment. Thanks so much. Be sure to share copies with your friends and family.

A Dose of Laughter is Good Medicine

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a dose of laughter is good medicineCaring for family may mean creating your own sunshine!

“Good morning, Sunshine! Are you sunshiny this morning? It’s a new day…wake up– let’s you and me go cheer up the world! We got one fun day ahead of us, are you ready? Move ‘em, Mommy, move ‘em!”

My happy voice and spring in my step let Mother know we were in for a great day. Her little tired eyes slowly opened and the wrinkled frown on her face was gently transformed into a big, enthusiastic smile. Those beautiful blue eyes sparkled as if she were a child once more anticipating a day at the carnival.

I knew the day would be long and hard.

It took one or two hours to get her out of bed, cleaned up and into the living room for her breakfast. My body was tired before the day began yet no one else was available to help with so much of her care. Many of the personal, tedious, routine tasks are left for caregivers to do themselves. I knew from experience my day as well as hers would go much better if it began in the right way. Mother had become so much like a child, living in and for the moment at hand. She seemed to reflect the atmosphere around her. I worked hard to keep her happy and cleaned up.

Another story began to unfold as our children and family in the other room picked up on the levity. I could hear the conversation drift from concern and sadness to laughter and excitement as they, too, anticipated a delightful morning.

Not only am I reminded again how very infectious a simple laugh can be, I also recognize the overwhelming responsibility I have, not simply to the one I’m caring for, but also to those around me. God has given me a unique opportunity to share my love for Jesus in a real, tangible way by living out the love He has put inside me.

I am praying for each person reading this post that God will put a spark inside you; that you will re-discover the joy of laughter. Laughter is, after all, good medicine! God said it; now scientists have proven it—isn’t that just amazing?

“Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure… You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” From Psalm 16:9-11 NIV

Hugs,

My Mother My Child is an account of my personal walk through eight years of caring; of learning to laugh in the hard times; of learning to cry; and mostly, learning to lean on the One Who has all the answers for us.

5 Simple Helps to Brighten Your Workday

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5 Simple Helps to Brighten Your Workday

Has Long Winter become Stressful Summer with no end in sight?

Whether you are a parent, or caring for family or friend, or full-time caregiver; it is quite often difficult work, filled with daily challenges. It can take all the energies and resources you seem to have available and then some. It changes priorities, ties you down and wears you out; and can easily seem to be a thankless job.

Can you relate? Are the tasks looming before you overwhelming at times?  Do you wish for help only to find the help was inadequate at best? Do you often feel you would have been better off to do the work yourself although you know you cannot do it all.

Trust me to the end of this article; there is hope and there is help.

Like water heating in a teakettle; these feelings can quickly boil and soon break out into unkind words or actions if not held at bay. (I speak from experience here).

There are no easy answers or quick-fixes. People in each situation are different; circumstances vary; needs versus wants must be defined for your particular responsibilities.

Here are five simple ideas that have helped me cope with a load too heavy to carry.

#1 Breathe. Too simple? Not really! When you feel stress coming, stop long enough to look away from the situation and breathe deeply. Stand up tall, close your eyes and breathe in for five counts through your nose. Hold that a few seconds, then slowly breathe out through your mouth. Relax, repeat.

#2 Hum or sing a little bit. I confess I am not a singer (my entire family will agree). However, when things got really tough with Momma, I would sing softly, “Jesus loves me, this I know … “as I continued my work. Even today when life gets crazy around me, I softly sing that song and my spirit quiets inside. By the way, when I smile and softly break into song now, the entire family recognizes it is time to back off and give Momma room to regroup!

#3 Exercise. Even when you feel you cannot do any exercise—no time, energy or ability—you can do something. A very simple stretch works wonders. Stand on tip toes behind a chair for balance and slowly lower and raise your body. Reach for the stars, one hand, then the other, then both. A few minutes every hour or so will help keep your blood flowing and your body limber.

#4 Write. Keep a notebook handy to jot down your feelings—good and not so good. Let all that anger flow from your brain through your fingers and onto the page. Don’t fail to find something good to write down about the one you are caring for and about yourself.

#5 Smile. Now, I know this suggestion sounds a little misplaced. Just try it, look in the mirror and smile—big, big cheesy grin. You tried it and giggled, didn’t you? Laughter IS the best medicine!

Perhaps caring for others can be a thankless job and overwhelming at times. But truthfully,  it is foremost a fantastic blessing, an opportunity to be Jesus’ hands and feet to someone. It’s a privilege, an awesome responsibility, an opportunity to encourage, to make a hurting soul feel happy and loved. The ability to care is a gift from God.

“Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need! He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet streams. He gives me new strength. He helps me do what honors him the most.” (Psalm 23:1-3, TLB).

Blessings and hugs to you as you care for others,

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