Tag Archives: caregiver

Holiday Stress Part One Cards and Letters

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For my caregiver friends busy with family,  elderly parents and others, does it seem the holiday season landed over night? With it more responsibility is added to our over-filled calendars. Can you relate?

Before you stress thinking about extra work,  grab a pen and paper. We’ll spend a few minutes looking at things that bug you when left unattended.  I have found my life goes much smoother if I can keep the bugs out!

List things that seem to eat up your time and thoughts.  Look objectively at the whole picture. When you finish,  circle no more than three things that bother you most. If you are like me, it is the little things that seem to weigh heavy day after day, not unlike a tiny gravel in your shoe.

My top three will seem as nothing compared to yours. That is what we are wanting, to identify the things real and personal to you. Using mine as an example should encourage you to work on your list. (Remember to contact me anytime.)

Number one on my list used to bug me every year. Energetic, organized friends and family sent out wonderful, newsy cards right after Thanksgiving. Immediately I felt guilty for not having done mine. I barely had time to read the letters, certainly not answer them, make a call or send a card.  They seemed to stack up all over the place and I could never imagine throwing them away unacknowledged.

I need to say here that I love getting cards and letters, anytime. People spend time to write a letter or choose a card. They spend money on cards and stamps and trips to the mailbox. I value each precious card I get. It isn’t the cards or letters, it is what to do with them. I don’t want them lost in a bunch of junk mail or tossed out when read.

Here is a simple solution I began a few years ago.

1. Provide a place for them. I found a colorful basket with a handle at a thrift shop that is perfect. The cards can stand on end and be easily seen.

2. I keep an inexpensive address book at the back of the basket to jot down current addresses or personal information gleaned from the letters. I put return addresses on the back of the card so it’s ready to answer.

3. I put the “Blessing Basket” on the same table each year for all to enjoy. I have read them many times over to those in my care. The colorful pictures are good conversation starters with children or elderly patients. When appropriate, share stories about the sender.

4. In  January and February, I often answer the cards, a few at a time. Simply pulling one out at random is like entertaining an unexpected guest. As time permits, I write notes even to those who simply signed their cards. What beautiful “visit” I’ve had on dreary winter days. When I cared for Mother, I wrote letters for her in January, it was a fun time.

5. My basket of cards is also a prayer reminder; thankful to God for each person who took time to send one. Praying for their needs at least once or twice a year makes me feel closer to them. Now I look forward to those early birds and their notes.

We’ll take on #2 on my list in our next visit. I think you may have a similar item on your list; it has to do with gifts.

In the meantime, I want to say I am so very, very thankful for each of you taking time to “listen” to my chatter. I pray for you and do hope to be a help an encouragement in your journey.

Hugs,

Let me hear from you soon. And do sign up for my newsletter at the top of this page.

 

 

5 Simple Ways to Assess Caregiving Needs

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Do you have a family member or friend who may need help? Are you struggling with the decision to hire a caregiver or perhaps give of your time to help? Whether  caring for someone now or considering a hired caregiver, here are important questions to consider. Even if you are already the primary caregiver, it is very important for you to take time to assess needs; they change periodically.

Here are 5 areas to evaluate to determine current needs; especially to identify long-term caregiving issues you may face.

#1 Are there signs of dementia or Alzheimers? Can the person make or receive calls without aide? When left alone, will they make safe decisions if a stranger comes to the door? These issues will certainly help determine whether long-term or short-term care is needed.

#2 Will this person consistently take medicines at the proper time? If so, is someone available to fix them at the beginning of the week? You cannot simply depend upon what you are told, watch for daily behavioral changes, check their medicines when possible.

#3 What about the nutrition needs of the individual? Can they cook meals; will they eat at the appropriate times? Could Meals on Wheels be an alternative or is an in-home caregiver needed during the daytime? Does someone simply need to clean the refrigerator once a week and put in fresh foods?

#4 Are there signs of hygiene needs when you visit? Can the person take care of bathing and other personal needs or does someone need to assist? Has their mobility declined in such a way that falling may be an issue.

#5 Probably the most obvious and most often overlooked is the question of how much time is needed to meet the needs. Be sure to carefully consider this issue before hiring someone or before you commit to help. Even small tasks that require daily attention can be overwhelming after awhile. Do you have time? Do you have others to call upon for help?

I have found the simplest solutions can be overlooked in our busy-ness if we do not take time occasionally to re-evaluate our situation.

My book, MY MOTHER MY CHILD is filled with help and hope for those caring for others of all ages; autographed copies now available through this website.

Hugs,

Mother Caregiver Friend A Solution to Time Management

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Are you a mother? Grandmother? Caregiver? Elderly? Young? Stressed to the max?

Do you, as I do, find it difficult—impossible—to visit everyone you need to? Are your daily task  lists getting longer instead of shorter?

Does a day’s end find you longing for a Days Inn to seek refuge?

Two months ago my husband and I found ourselves locked into schedules even a younger person could not handle. Guilt weighed heavy on our shoulders and we were burdened for those we had no time to care for.

We began daily asking God to make our appointments for us; to literally put us where we needed to be, when we needed to be there in order to follow His schedule for our lives.

At the same time, we looked at our calendars and realized some “important” commitments could be adjusted, if not eliminated. We waited for God to show us His plan.  As I reflect on this day (Sunday) I realize it  paints a vivid picture of God’s plan versus our plan.

My husband, Russell, is Director of Missions in Dallas County (MO). This morning as he supplied the pulpit in one of our churches, we learned one of their members was admitted to the hospital, in ICU with heart problems and would welcome a minister’s visit.

Choosing to go the hospital after church meant we had to cancel plans to attend an ordination service in another church. This was a young man we had seen grow up and follow the Lord’s leading. We were close to his family and his wife’s family as well; it was a difficult decision.

At the hospital the patient was alone in the room and very pleased to have company and prayer support. Car trouble had left his family stranded on their way to the hospital so Russell’s visit was very timely.

Later, in the cafeteria, we felt sure God had arranged appointments for us:

1.      We met an elderly man and his caregiving daughter and shared some special thoughts with them. We gave her a copy of My Mother My Child followed by tears and hugs as we praised God for His direction.

2.      We both hugged on a senior widow who had suffered two light strokes and needed encouragement from friends. Neither she nor us had been to that restaurant in months but “just happened” to be there at the same time on this day.

3.      I listened and wept with a lady as she confronted some issues regarding a future testimony in her church. As we talked, we prayed for wisdom and God’s direction and His peace in her life. Our lives were both enriched as only friends can be as they share honestly with one another. We vowed to pray specifically for each other on our upcoming ministries.

4.      My husband and another pastor openly shared concerns and praises as they renewed a friendship and recounted how God had been at work in marvelous ways.

We were home in time for a nap before evening church but were too wound up to rest. Off to church now—wonder what God has in store for the rest of our day.

Proverbs 3:5-6 admonishes us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”

I hope you are allowing God to plan your day. His schedule is amazing!

Hugs,

PS. An old friend “just happened” to show up at church for evening worship—more hugs and laughs and praises! Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter (upper right hand corner of page); I’ll look forward to hearing from you soon.