Tag Archives: caregiver

Tips for Visiting Bereaved during Holidays

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Tips for Visiting Bereaved during Holidays Holidays are a time for food, fun, and families. Sudden death of friend or relative during holidays can cause added stress and confusion as to how to react; what to do.

I know, dear reader, you are a caregiver, either as a mother, family member, or professional. You hurt when others hurt. You are wired to help; you want to be there for those you love. You strive to keep normal holiday activity going at home as well.

Here are a few tips I trust you’ll find helpful as you face difficult situations through this season. Let me hear from you with pointers you may have.

1. Do not feel you have to bring a dish of food each time you visit. If they are involved in an active church or have a large family nearby, there is probably an abundance of prepared foods already. If you want to bring something, consider the list at the end of this article for some helpful ideas. I speak  from experience, these items are appreciated and often much needed. Not only are you bringing useful gifts, you are helping in ways you cannot imagine.
2. Ask about their needs beyond tangible items. Is there something you can do to help prepare for holiday activities? Decorating? Shopping? Addressing cards? Run errands? Clean house or yard?
3. Be sensitive to their time needs when calling or sending e-mails. Keep conversations relatively short and to the point. Spend more time listening than talking and hang up soon. Do not send unnecessary e-mails and messages that give them more to deal with.
4. Allow them to discuss their loss if they want. Some will need to talk about their loss more than others. When ready, they may need to spend extra time reminiscing, crying, and sharing. Be a good listener but learn when to give a hug and move on. Trust the Lord to give you wisdom.

Here are very practical items you can bring instead of food dishes.
1. Paper products such as paper towels, toilet paper and napkins. A thoughtful gift is small packages of Kleenex that can be put in each room or carried in pockets. I recall times when I would have given a mint for a simple tissue to dry my tears and blow my nose!
2. Paper bowls and plates and silverware are always welcome. Also, if there is to be lots of food brought in, think about bringing a few storage bowls with lids of various sizes for leftovers or to send food home with someone.
3. Consider coffee, creamer, sugar, hot chocolate and other drink mixes. Perhaps a few packages of cookies nice for them to have on hand as well. Be sure to provide paper cups for both hot and cold drinks.
4. Whether the family is larger or small, think about a few items to have on hand when they are not up to cooking. Sandwich things like peanut butter and jelly or packaged tuna or cheese and crackers are good. A few apples, oranges and grapes are welcome choices. Consider a jar of peanuts or mixed nuts.

The list is endless as you consider the needs of a household. As always, the best gift you can give is yourself; a sincere hug and prayer goes a long way in the healing process. Just knowing you are there for someone lifts their spirits and gives strength to continue on.

Praying for each of you a blessed and safe holiday season as you care for others along your path.

Hugs,

For more articles, click on the “Articles for Caregivers” tab above this article.

Controlling the Temperature for All the Family

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Controlling the Temperature for All the FamilyAre you ready to turn the heat on? How about the rest of the family?

The elderly are often cold, even in summer as the air conditioner or fans blow on them. With winter around the corner, they face another challenge. So does the caregiver who is probably kept busy most of the time and ready to cool the place down. Elderly or infirm, on the other hand, are most likely looking forward to finally having some heat.

How do you manage to keep your family comfortable without beginning a war?

Start by considering your own thermostat; yes, your own. That may seem self-centered at the very least, but it is important as you have a direct effect on the temperature control for everyone in the home: it’s not about you!

Are you constantly adjusting the controls because you are too hot or too cold? Do you grab a wrap when chilly, or up the thermostat? Then, you get too hot and yank off that wrap, turn down the heat, and wonder why no one else understands it’s just too hot in the house!

You do not have to simply skim through another season; take time to think first!

I have a suggestion for you; grab a cup of coffee, put your feet up (you CAN take a few minutes to do this), and let’s look at four helps for you and your family or one you care for.

1. With notepad in hand, answer the above questions for yourself personally. DO you fit in one or more of those categories? Especially consider when you adjust the temperature; is it as you are busy doing your work? Is it when you are in a certain room?
2. Consider those in your care. Is there an elderly person who cannot get up and care for themselves? Do you have ample wraps near them? Are they clean, soft, and ready for use—not too heavy for them to handle?
3. If you are caring for someone who is confined to one particular area, have you sat there for a period of time? Do you know if there is a draft around them? Are they sitting where they can feel the heat when it’s turned up?
4. Have you considered small space heaters (or fans) for some areas? This requires a lot of planning to be absolutely sure it is a wise move. Additional appliances of any type bring with them their own set of cautions.

Before making any serious adjustments in your family; make sure overall health of each individual is considered. Do not overlook the fact that your medical personnel may be able to help solve this issue (i.e. medicines often play a role in our body temps.)

Praying for you to have a Fantastic Fall and Wonderful Winter as you care not only for those entrusted to you but also care for yourself!

Hugs,

If you are working with dementia/Alzheimer’s patients, you may find this article helpful: http://www.susiekinslowadams.com/2014/07/04/5-tips-on-communicating-with-dementiaalzheimers-patients/

 

5 Tips on Communicating with Alzheimers or Dementia Patients

5 Tips on Communicating with Alzheimers or Dementia PatientsCommunicating with Alzheimers or Dementia Patients

Whether friend, family or caregiver, communicating with Alzheimers or dementia patients is stressful and often awkward and uncomfortable.

Consider how confusing and frustrating this must be to the individual coping with these changes. Here are some useful tips to ease tension and encourage open communication.

  1. Make eye contact as you enter the room. Look directly into their eyes when you talk. For the best results in establishing any communication, do not look down on the person. If they are seated, sit beside them when possible. Talking at eye level communicates genuine caring.
  2. Address the person by his/her name; the name they are familiar with. Be sure your voice and expressions give clear signs of love and concern. Avoid using “sweetie” or “honey” as they need to hear and recognize their own name.
  3. Be sensitive of the individuals’ personal space. A confused person may feel threatened if you are too close or you insist on hugging them. Observe heir reactions to know what touching is acceptable. A warm handshake and caring smile will help them grow comfortable in your presence and feel less threatened.
  4. Listen for key words or phrases. As you begin to understand what they are trying to talk about, try repeating a sentence or two in your own words. Letting others know you are truly wanting to understand will go a long way in opening dialog.
  5. Proceed with confidence. Remember the person you know and love is still there and most likely wants/needs to share his/her feelings. Do not be afraid to attempt conversation, however limited it may be.

As you find comfortable ways to show love and acceptance of your loved one, you will be rewarded. The reward may come in an unexpected kiss on the cheek, a squeeze of your hand, or a simple gleam in the eye of one hungering for assurance.

Imagine for a moment how you would feel if you could not share your feelings or desires with others. Often a confused person is waiting for affirmation and encouragement and you and I can do that for them.

Blessings on you as you give of your best to a hurting world.

Hugs,

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