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Making New Year’s Resolutions vs Setting Goals

New Year’s Resolutions are quickly made and easily broken. Somehow we believe the calendar page will turn and all last year’s problems will vanish.

Would you like to end the struggle and see results?

Follow these four simple steps to set small, attainable, measurable goals instead of vague resolutions. You will be as amazed as I at the immediate feeling of success from day one.

Step #1. Make a list of possible changes for the new year.

For a plan you will finish, spend a few days to work through these questions. Evaluate your answers; be honest with yourself.

a. Are you making resolutions (trying to change) to please others? Make sure your list reflects your unique personality.

b. What do you see as your greatest need this year? Is it really to lose weight, quit a habit, or exercise more? Or is your need to be a better person, draw closer to God, show kindness to others? Be specific.

c. Is there a pet project or unfinished task you really want to do but never have time to finish?

d. Are you pleased with your prayer life, devotions or Bible studies?

e. Do you feel you neglect calling on friends or sending cards of encouragement when needed?

f. Do you want to lose weight? Eat healthier? Be more physically fit?

g. Need help managing money, budgets, keeping house, etc.?

h. What would you like to learn? Sewing? Play an instrument? Gardening?

#2 Choose one goal from your list – only one.

This is the most difficult step. You may have an awesome list of worthy desires for yourself. It will be difficult to narrow it down, but you must do it to succeed this year. When this one goal is accomplished, you can move to another one as the year progresses.

Begin by carefully scratching through those that mean less to you. Take out any that may require more time and resources than you have right now. If needed, take a day or two to decide; you have a fresh new year and want to start it right.

#3 Prepare for success by planning.

With your one goal in mind, what do you need to accomplish it? Gather all the tools needed in a basket or a shelf or drawer. This may be recipe books, devotion guides, writing tools, etc.

Very important, write your one goal on several cards to keep in each room as daily reminders.

#4 Set a date to start working on your one goal.

Mark it on your calendar; schedule time for it. Plan to impress yourself with accomplishments.

Take it from one who knows; the sheer excitement of working toward one attainable goal will keep you motivated.

I am resolved to make no more resolutions; only goals — one at a time.

Let’s do this together. Let me hear from you. Pass it on.

Simple Holiday Tips for Busy Families

Simple holiday tips for busy families – really?

Two Christmas cards arrived in November. The neighborhood is aglow with colorful lights, garland, red bows and poinsettias. Newscasters announce our city parade, and I feel like Scrooge!

Do you (or someone you know) feel overwhelmed?

Making time to decorate and prepare for holidays is often difficult There is no time or energy left after the necessary chores for holiday preparation. Allow me to offer a few tips that have helped me have peace about holiday expectations.

First, kudos to those who can keep family traditions.

I love reading the chatter and looking at the fine cooking some of you are doing right now. Truly I miss that, I do! I’m learning to rejoice at the memories of days past and move on to great times ahead. Here’s how to do it.

#1 Determine what is important to you personally.

The very first step is considering what is important to you and what you actually can do. You cannot do it all; changes have to be made as you take on new responsibilities or face health issues. Be honest in evaluating difference between others’ expectations and your own wants and needs for this time in your life.

#2 Learn to simplify.

If decorating has always been important to you but you cannot drag everything from the storage this year, simplify. Find one or two simple decorations to focus on – perhaps a treasured keepsake. For my needs, I cleared a small table in a prominent place; added a festive tablecloth, small nativity, Dollar Store greenery and candles. It is amazing what one small seasonal display can do to transform an entire room. Keep it simple, uncluttered, and out of the way.

#3 Budget time and money with these easy tips.

Still not feeling the season? If one tiny spot just isn’t enough for you, consider adding a little holiday color in each area of your home. Make big bows from a roll of colorful ribbon to add to plants and picture frames about the house. Inexpensive greenery draped over a shelf adds color and charm. Tuck in a few poinsettias and you are finished! (Here is the winning tip: take time to dust, then put seasonal air fresheners in each room.)

#4 Snacks a must yet no time to bake?

Holiday preparations are incomplete without snacks! We all love them. Plan ahead and again, keep it simple. People come to see you, not check out your latest holiday recipe. Keep a shelf or small table loaded with beautiful paper napkins, plates and cups. Add pretty baskets of packaged nuts, mints, trail mix, jerky. Again the dollar store offers cans of dark chocolate rolled wafers, sourdough pretzels, and mints.

From the grocery, decorated cookies, cheese sticks, fresh fruit and veggie sticks. Be sure to have assorted teas or hot chocolate mixes. If you don’t make coffee, purchase coffee singles (decaf and regular). With little effort you have a beautiful spread that says, “I’m glad you are here.

#5 I saved the best for the last – the most important preparation.

The most important holiday preparation is a merry heart. The Lord said, “a merry heart does good like a medicine.” A cheerful hug and sincere smile goes a long way to remind others of the true meaning of the season.

Praying you will step back and plan for a beautiful December filled with the Greatest Treasure of all—God’s love.

Hugs,

P.S. Be sure to share this link with others who may need these tips and sign up for the newsletter.

5 Ways to Listen Before Responding

Learning to listen before responding will insure more enjoyable business and family gatherings during the holidays.

Listening involves more than merely hearing.

We are wise to learn listen. With many diversions at our fingertips, it can be difficult to focus our attention toward a single conversation. As we put forth effort to become a better listener, we benefit others as well as ourselves. You may find, as I have, some of these simple tips are easier said than done!

How you appear to the one speaking may let them know you really care.

1. Look the person in the eye as you listen. This may seem oversimplified or unnecessary, especially if you are busy meeting immediate needs and you genuinely feel you don’t have time for conversation. Pausing for even a very few seconds to look at them directly as you smile or pat a hand or shoulder is a visual sign you really do care and have their best interests in hand.

Your answers can help others communicate better.

2. Do give feedback that encourages further communication. No one wants to hear, “I know how you feel”. A better comment would be, “that must be difficult for you”. Saying “I’m so sorry you feel this way” will often help to win trust and build confidence.

There is a time to give advice, and a time to wait.

3. Learn to listen without giving advice. This can be extremely difficult, especially if you feel you understand the circumstances. Make a note if you think this is a topic that may need addressed at a later time or with others responsible for their well-being.

Learn why certain topics are repeated more than others.

4. Try not to get impatient with repeated conversations. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes; consider why these stories might be so important. Listen for clues that may help the person, family, or you as caregiver.

Most people simply want someone to love them; to genuinely care about their needs.

5. Do not judge the person by what they say. You may not relate to what is said or agree, but you can show the courtesy to listen politely.

Knowing you really care will build trust, help reduce tension, and release emotions. Taking time to listen, even for a few short minutes, will encourage further conversations and can produce life-changing results for all.

We can learn from Jesus who said, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heaven laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and ye shall find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

Hugs,

The 2nd Edition of MY MOTHER MY CHILD with new Discussion Guides is filled with practical helps and encouragement. Friends and family, young and old will find this book a valuable tool in caring for their families and end-of-life matters.