Surviving spouses definitely lose more than a loved one. They often lose their identity, their lifestyle changes, their schedules change. This truth was brought home to me some years ago.

Paralyzed, I sat in my hot car, tears flowing down my cheeks. I was weary, embarrassed, lonely, and confused.

My grocery cart, half filled with pork chops, sausage, biscuits, sweet rolls and a variety of snacks was left abandoned in the aisle. For the first time since my husband’s fatal heart attack, I began to realize how much of my life centered on his needs. Those were his favorite foods; I didn’t know how to shop for just myself!

The older we get, the more we experience loss of friends and family. We all know widows and widowers; we send cards and call occasionally, and this is good. A better understanding of their loss may help us to seek out ways we can help them adjust. Here are a few of the changes a widow/widower will experience.

1. Daily routines will change; what is watched on television, what is cooked for meals, how spare time is spent. Does the one remaining know how to operate things at home? Or drive the car?
2. Finances. Who paid the bills in the household? Does the survivor know where things are kept and how to handle them? How drastically did their household income change? Will they need help getting by for awhile?
3. Friends. Often some couples which were close will slowly drift away when you are no longer a couple. Your friend circle may change or disappear completely. Perhaps the single person will now feel out of place, like the third wheel.
4. Family. Just as friends can change, so does the family dynamic. Not the immediate family so much, but the extended family. His or her family may soon quite calling so often with the spouse gone. It happens; often just because we all think we are too busy.
5. Home life changes. You won’t watch the same things on TV. You may not be the gardener needed to keep up your spouses beautiful lawn and garden. Yet you may later pursue hobbies that you had given up.

Surviving spouses have adjustments from day one. Of course, it takes time to re-focus after a loved one passes. But their will come a time when life will change.

The bottom line on this article is two-fold. #1, remember to pray for every single person you know that has lost a spouse. #2, ask God what you can do to help them through the adjustment period.

Precious readers, my prayer for you is God’s peace in every part of your life. For those who have lost loved family and friends, I pray for God’s comfort and direction in all you do.

We can always be sure of God’s love. Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”

Hugs,

I look forward to hearing from you soon.