Help Archives - Page 6 of 28 -

Learn to Identify Needs of Elderly Parents and Loved Ones

Learn to identify needs of elderly parents and loved ones. When you learn to identify needs of elderly parents, you may prevent much heartache later for both of you.

This is difficult when you live out of state.

For years my only personal contact with Mother was a visit every few months. There was always so much to catch up on and so little time on those visits.

Learning to notice changes takes practice.

Mother seemed to be doing okay living alone. She loved her home and neighborhood and had all the necessities she needed. When I did raise concerns, she immediately gave me that “I’m your mother” look that let me know, as far as she was concerned, it was none of my business!

The elderly parent or loved one may not want your help.

They may realize they cannot do all they used to do. But they don’t want to worry you and go to great lengths to reassure you they are fine without help.

There were many red flags I failed to see.

If you are in a difficult situation, but feel help may be needed, here are a few things to look for on your next visit. Please note: these tips are not simply for family but for paid or volunteer caregivers as well.

1. Learn to focus on changes in behavior or housekeeping. Do you see signs of increased neglect in any of the above areas? What has changed since your last visit?

2 Is the mail handled properly? If you have concerns about whether or not bills are paid on time, you may need to contact utility companies to make sure they are up to date.

3. When you enter the home, what is your first reaction? Does the home seem overly hot or cool? Are the rooms unduly stuffy or dark? Are window shades and curtains drawn in midday for no apparent reason?

4. Is there an odor in the home? Elderly often have urinary problems and could have stained clothing or even dribbles on the floor to the bathroom. They may not be aware of the problem themselves.

5. How is the kitchen, are dishes done? Now, let’s be realistic here; if you come to my home unannounced, you may find dirty dishes or some chores undone. However, when they begin to stack up, it could be a problem. Notice the washed dishes; is there dried food in them? Is there food left on the counter from the last meal?

6.Check out the refrigerator. Are leftovers stored without covers? Are the fruits and vegetables wilted or spoiled. Check to see if condiments are stored properly and not too old to use.

7 Is the trash emptied? Are all the wastebaskets overflowing? Are tables and chairs piled high with papers, mail, and magazines?

If you have real concerns, consider keeping a notebook for a few weeks. (If you live away, ask someone to do it for you.) Note changes in behavior, hygiene, or the home. Recognizing the need for help is a beginning. Once you know what the real needs are, you can seek help in meeting those needs.

Looking back (isn’t that always easier?) I can see how serious her needs were. However, those concerns dwindled when my flight landed back home and the pressures of work and family took over.

We are fortunate today to have access to agencies to aid in getting the needed help. Knowing the extent of the need is critical to ensuring a proper response to our questions when seeking advice. In the next post, I will give some ideas on where and how to find help. Please let me hear from you.

Hugs,

For more details about my journey with mother, get my book, My Mother My Child

Pack Your Car for Travel in Extreme Heat

Are you going to travel in extreme heat?

Do not neglect to pack your car for travel in extreme heat. Even a short trip in 90-100 degree weather calls wise for planning.

Temperatures in 70s outside could mean 90-100 in a very few minutes in a stalled car.

Be prepared to wait safely in the heat for help when there is no shade.

How will you protect any elderly or small children with you from heat stroke? Do you know the signs of suffering a heat stroke? Learn what to watch for and how to be of help to those in need.

In winter we pack extra clothing, blankets, ice scrapers and such. In all seasons we need a first aid kit and roadside emergency lights. Here is a simple list of summer extras to prepare you for extreme heat travel.

Drinking water: everyone should sip on water even if not thirsty. Even mild dehydration increases cardiac work and reduces fluid available for bodily functions.
Large jugs or containers of water; cooling feet and hands in water will pull body temperature down quickly. Note the picture: the cows naturally seek shade and water to cool off in hot summer!
Small towels and cloths to dampen and put on neck and shoulders. Pack a small basin to put feet in water and spray bottles to spritz water on faces to cool.
Umbrellas: necessary especially if you are caught out in the open air with no breeze or shade available. Reminder: the goal is to get everyone outside the hot vehicle until help arrives.
Pack extra comfortable shoes, lightweight clothing, wide-brimmed hats and sweat bands. Lightly colored cotton or linen fabrics retain less heat.
Hand or battery operated fans are helpful to cool you off temporarily. However, keep in mind, some sweating is a good thing when it’s hot. It’s our body’s way of cooling us down. (No fans? Simply make sure you have some cardboard or card stock paper to use.)
Sun shields for car windows to block out heat when temperatures allow you to stay inside vehicle. NOTE: Always use window shades to protect small children in the back seat. Never leave any child unattended in a vehicle, even for a few moments.
Snacks should be “cooling foods.” Fresh, raw foods like vegetables and fruit provide extra hydration; heavier foods such as meats and protein-heavy foods can increase metabolic heat production and add to loss of water.

Good to remember: in hot summer months, smaller meals help keep your core temperature down. Large meals cause the body to work harder. Eating spicy peppers actually help cool you off by making you sweat and providing a cooling sensation.

Thanks for listening; be sure to share with others and comment on this post.

Hugs,

Here are more tips on helping the elderly keep cool in their homes from the National Center on Caregiving.

Basic Steps to Avoid Misplaced Documents

Life was simple when we were young. We didn’t worry about misplaced documents; our important “treasures” were safely tucked away in a pretty box or little boy’s jean pockets.

Now, as adults, we gather more papers, more numbers to remember, more people needing information from us. Life doesn’t stay simple, does it?

Homemaking and caregiving isn’t just meeting physical needs.

We might help loved ones (and ourselves) avoid heartache as family circumstances change. It is easy to get so busy with the daily grind that we overlook critical details. A little time and attention now will save stress and often dollars in the end.

Misplaced documents can prove costly.

When a loved one passes away, if insurance policies and other records are stuck in a box or drawer “somewhere”, they will be overlooked when needed most.

Millions of dollars go unclaimed due to neglect.

The New York Times recently reported hundreds of millions of unclaimed dollars every year. Most belong to beneficiaries who did not realize policies existed when a loved one died.

You will benefit with these tips and a little time.

While this may seem overwhelming right now, scheduling just thirty minutes a day will make it a doable project for you with rewards in abundance.

#1 Organize — begin today!

Simply begin by putting all your important files in one place. Start with a small filing box (or large one for me.) An empty drawer will help get everything in one place in the beginning; then you can work more efficiently—and faster!

#2 Determine a permanent storage place.

A small waterproof, fireproof safe is large enough for most households. You may feel more secure getting a safe deposit box at your bank. Be sure someone can access it later if you are not able to do so. In addition to original documents, include a list of all policies, account numbers, birth and marriage certificates, and any important financial information.

#3 Evaluate each item.

For instance, in working on your home insurance policies, is your latest copy up-to-date? Is it adequate? Do you need to make changes? Do you have birth certificates for each member of your household? Are account numbers for credit/debit cards in this file? Include the phone numbers to call if lost or stolen.

#4 Who will need access to this information?

Your spouse? Your children? Attorney? Will they know where to find the information if needed? Be careful as you choose a trusted family member or friend for this important responsibility.

#5 Keep all items up-to-date.

Set a definite time each year to review this file and up-date any policies or records. Make sure any legal paperwork is correct; contact an attorney if you have any questions about the legality of any documents, especially those having to do with healthcare, mortgages, etc.

#6 This will prove time well spent.

Yes, I know! This will take time—maybe a lot of time you feel you do not have. However, the time and frustration you will be saving yourself and others when these things are needed will be worth it.

Trust me on this one. I’ve been there!

Hugs,

Click on this website to learn more about unclaimed property: http://unclaimed-property-finder.com/ Be sure to read the “About Us” section first to find your state and more details. Hope you find this helpful; let me hear what you are doing to keep important documents organized.