Category Archives: Help

Holiday Stress Tips on Gift Giving Part Two

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Gift lists can be overwhelming; family, friends, caregivers, others who serve us. Stress occurs when we can’t find ‘just the right’ gift or money is tight. Who do we give gifts to? Is our gift giving really  gift exchange? Do we ever give  out of duty, expectations, or guilt?

Each year I listen to shoppers rushing to fill long lists in little time; usually spending over their budget. Many comment on difficulty buying for a certain person on their list. Some honestly admit they do not want to give him or her anything but feel obligated.

Please note: I realize you may have packages purchased and wrapped for this year. If it has been frustrating, or you have not finished or even begun, now is the perfect time to spend a few minutes thinking through your personal priorities regarding gifting.

Here are a few simple tips that have served me well.

#1 Adjust your attitude. Are you still looking for a “thank you” for the special gift you sent last year? Sadly, thank you cards and calls seem in short supply in our world today. Gifts given out of a heart of love and compassion and not from guilt or duty have already received a thank you. The giving of each gift, no matter how large or small, will bring you true joy.

#2 Is there something only you can give? Does your work or hobby provide something others would appreciate? For instance, if you enjoy creating cards, make them a dozen beautiful cards with envelopes. Include stamps and a pen and you have a personal gift that says you really care.

#3 Consider the needs of the recipient. Before giving a beautiful plate of homemade candy and cookies to a family, inquire about health and nutrition restrictions. A small houseplant or greenery can be a welcome gift; it can also be an extra burden to one who doesn’t need something else to care for.

#4 Other than family, what other gifts do you want to give? Boss? Co-workers? Church or other groups?  Is there a spending limit? Check this list carefully. Are you giving because you want to or because you feel compelled to do so? I have personally found relationship issues I needed to deal with before offering a gift.

#5 Determine who you will be giving gifts to in your family. Will you be drawing names? Will you continue to buy large gifts for your children after they leave the nest? What about their children, and their children? If you don’t set guidelines up front, your list may get longer and longer as your budget gets smaller. Do you have something set aside for those who drop by unexpectedly?

#6 What about those who care for your needs; i.e., postman, beautician, delivery persons, favorite waitress or waiter?

My experience as a giver and as a recipient of much giving, has led me to believe the most needed gift is love. Allow me to rephrase that statement: The Greatest Gift IS Love. We know Jesus is the Greatest Gift; He came to earth, lived, died, and rose again all because of God’s Love for us. Therefore, the greatest of all our gifts to one another should be love.

Hugs,

What has been my best shopping tip for over 30 years that I still practice today? Visit me next week and find out. Why not give someone my address this week so they can get the newsletter, too? You have signed up, right?

 

Holiday Stress Part One Cards and Letters

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For my caregiver friends busy with family,  elderly parents and others, does it seem the holiday season landed over night? With it more responsibility is added to our over-filled calendars. Can you relate?

Before you stress thinking about extra work,  grab a pen and paper. We’ll spend a few minutes looking at things that bug you when left unattended.  I have found my life goes much smoother if I can keep the bugs out!

List things that seem to eat up your time and thoughts.  Look objectively at the whole picture. When you finish,  circle no more than three things that bother you most. If you are like me, it is the little things that seem to weigh heavy day after day, not unlike a tiny gravel in your shoe.

My top three will seem as nothing compared to yours. That is what we are wanting, to identify the things real and personal to you. Using mine as an example should encourage you to work on your list. (Remember to contact me anytime.)

Number one on my list used to bug me every year. Energetic, organized friends and family sent out wonderful, newsy cards right after Thanksgiving. Immediately I felt guilty for not having done mine. I barely had time to read the letters, certainly not answer them, make a call or send a card.  They seemed to stack up all over the place and I could never imagine throwing them away unacknowledged.

I need to say here that I love getting cards and letters, anytime. People spend time to write a letter or choose a card. They spend money on cards and stamps and trips to the mailbox. I value each precious card I get. It isn’t the cards or letters, it is what to do with them. I don’t want them lost in a bunch of junk mail or tossed out when read.

Here is a simple solution I began a few years ago.

1. Provide a place for them. I found a colorful basket with a handle at a thrift shop that is perfect. The cards can stand on end and be easily seen.

2. I keep an inexpensive address book at the back of the basket to jot down current addresses or personal information gleaned from the letters. I put return addresses on the back of the card so it’s ready to answer.

3. I put the “Blessing Basket” on the same table each year for all to enjoy. I have read them many times over to those in my care. The colorful pictures are good conversation starters with children or elderly patients. When appropriate, share stories about the sender.

4. In  January and February, I often answer the cards, a few at a time. Simply pulling one out at random is like entertaining an unexpected guest. As time permits, I write notes even to those who simply signed their cards. What beautiful “visit” I’ve had on dreary winter days. When I cared for Mother, I wrote letters for her in January, it was a fun time.

5. My basket of cards is also a prayer reminder; thankful to God for each person who took time to send one. Praying for their needs at least once or twice a year makes me feel closer to them. Now I look forward to those early birds and their notes.

We’ll take on #2 on my list in our next visit. I think you may have a similar item on your list; it has to do with gifts.

In the meantime, I want to say I am so very, very thankful for each of you taking time to “listen” to my chatter. I pray for you and do hope to be a help an encouragement in your journey.

Hugs,

Let me hear from you soon. And do sign up for my newsletter at the top of this page.

 

 

5 Simple Ways to Assess Caregiving Needs

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Do you have a family member or friend who may need help? Are you struggling with the decision to hire a caregiver or perhaps give of your time to help? Whether  caring for someone now or considering a hired caregiver, here are important questions to consider. Even if you are already the primary caregiver, it is very important for you to take time to assess needs; they change periodically.

Here are 5 areas to evaluate to determine current needs; especially to identify long-term caregiving issues you may face.

#1 Are there signs of dementia or Alzheimers? Can the person make or receive calls without aide? When left alone, will they make safe decisions if a stranger comes to the door? These issues will certainly help determine whether long-term or short-term care is needed.

#2 Will this person consistently take medicines at the proper time? If so, is someone available to fix them at the beginning of the week? You cannot simply depend upon what you are told, watch for daily behavioral changes, check their medicines when possible.

#3 What about the nutrition needs of the individual? Can they cook meals; will they eat at the appropriate times? Could Meals on Wheels be an alternative or is an in-home caregiver needed during the daytime? Does someone simply need to clean the refrigerator once a week and put in fresh foods?

#4 Are there signs of hygiene needs when you visit? Can the person take care of bathing and other personal needs or does someone need to assist? Has their mobility declined in such a way that falling may be an issue.

#5 Probably the most obvious and most often overlooked is the question of how much time is needed to meet the needs. Be sure to carefully consider this issue before hiring someone or before you commit to help. Even small tasks that require daily attention can be overwhelming after awhile. Do you have time? Do you have others to call upon for help?

I have found the simplest solutions can be overlooked in our busy-ness if we do not take time occasionally to re-evaluate our situation.

My book, MY MOTHER MY CHILD is filled with help and hope for those caring for others of all ages; autographed copies now available through this website.

Hugs,