Category Archives: Help

How Well Do You Listen

How Well Do You Listen

Union Mound Baptist Church Evening Worship

Look at the faces of Wayne and Barbara as they listen intently to Dr. Wade Paris sharing God’s Word from his heart.

I want to listen like that; not just to a speaker, but to every person who wants to talk to me. I want my face to light up with compassion and love. I want to really hear what they are saying.

Compassionate listening is an art; it takes practice. It takes patience. It takes time. In our hectic, busy world, one of the greatest gifts we can give to our family and to others is taking time to listen well.

Click here for some wisdom from the Great Listener.

Charles Dickens said: “No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.” One of the best ways to lighten a load is to learn to become a good listener.

Proverbs 18:13 “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.”

Here are a few ideas as together we learn to become better listeners.

  • Try not to judge another person’s reactions or give unsolicited advice. You may not relate to what the person is saying, but it is real to them. This can be tricky if you are caring for someone with memory issues; however, they need a compassionate ear.
  • Learn to give appropriate feedback. Instead of saying, “I know how you feel,” try saying, “That must be difficult for you.” Or simply “I’m sorry you are feeling this way.” As I visited with a recent widow, I could not say I knew how she felt even though I have lost two husbands. My experience was not hers; I can understand the hurt, but I needed to hear her story, hold her hand, and say “I’m so sorry.”
  • Consider the health and well-being of the person. Do they have family and friends nearby? Are they confined to a chair, bed, or room for most of their time? Before you hurriedly walk away, realize you may be the only person who actually took a few minutes to listen to their story.
  • Watch carefully for clues as someone talks to you. Do they sound overly worried about what should be an insignificant matter? Could there be more to the story than is being said, hidden reasons for their concern?
  • This last tip may seem to be the most obvious. However, it is often the most neglected. Give a smile and a gentle hug. A smile has a tremendous healing effect on everyone. Pray for the situation when appropriate; at least add them to your personal prayer list. A simple pat on the hand or shoulder and a genuine smile can make someone’s day. Good medicine for them–and good for you!

As you take time to really listen, you will reduce tension and build trust. Go the extra mile. Keep a small notebook handy and jot down concerns or things to remember for the next conversation.

Have a great week and, as you listen to others, allow time to listen to Our Heavenly Father as well; He is the ultimate Compassionate Listener. He longs to listen to you!

Hugs,

Your comments are a part of listening; I look forward to hearing from you.

Identify Your Time Robbers

Identify Your Time Robbers

Patches’ Big Friend is Hiding Something (read the article below to learn his secret)

“… walk not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16

New year’s resolutions are simply not my thing. I learned a very long time ago my resolve is more of a wish list. However, this January I decided changes were needed in my life.

Instead of resolving to do better, I asked myself what were my time robbers; how did I spend my precious time. Also, I determined to make changes accordingly. This hurt a bit! (This hurt a lot!)

I would often say I didn’t watch much tv; I don’t like the new sitcoms and comedies and the news is disgusting. Yes, well … truth be known, I DID without realizing it. Enjoying lunch or dinner in my comfy chair in the livingroom, I tuned in an old game show (concentration or password plus) while I ate. So, I’m thinking I’m feeding my brain as well as my tummy. Good, right?  Hours later …!

World news at 5:30 while I ate my cereal shouldn’t be a problem. However, if I then flipped channels and found an older Hallmark movie …! I am not a disciplined person. I lie to me when I say I’ll only watch an hour a day or whatever. Not!

My chair is at the far end of the livingroom by a little table with books and remotes handy. On Friday, January 6, I put the remote under Patches’ turtle friend at the other end of the room by the fireplace. To watch tv, I have to get up and go get it. The tv has not been on since January 6. I am redeeming the time.

Click for three common time robbers we each face.

My second time robber is Facebook. Now, I will say, I like Facebook; I use it for ministry; I am encouraged by the comments and Scriptures. Quitting is not an option for me. Even so, it has to be curbed drastically! Easy peasy! I deleted the app from my phone. Now, if I have time to browse FB, I have to go into the other room to the computer. (Exercise!)

I have others, many others. I’m guessing you do as well. For me personally, I feel God calling me to redeem the time seriously. When I celebrate the tenth anniversary of my 9th birthday (2032 if you’re counting), I want to know I’ve given God my best; used the time He gave me wisely.

Please jot me a note below; what are your time robbers? How has God met you there?

Blessings and hugs,

 

 

 

Imperative Count Your Blessings Jar

Imperative Count Your Blessings Jar

My Priceless Count Your Blessings Jar

“How we praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every blessing in heaven because we belong to Christ.”  Ephesians 1:3 TLB
Imperative? Indeed! Do you not have one? Think you don’t need another ‘thing’ to do or mess with? Are you sure?
Ever find yourself in the middle of a muddle? Stressed beyond belief? Wonder where God is while your world is crumbling? You are not alone, I’ve been there…often of late!
A few weeks ago, I felt overwhelmed and so lonely. Knowing what to do, I brewed my favorite tea, found a cozy chair by the fireplace, and dumped my entire 2022 blessing jar in my lap. About halfway through reading the tiny notes I had penned, I was crying, laughing, repenting, rejoicing!
“A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent.”  Proverbs 28:20 KJV
Trust me on this one. Right now, find a glass, can, basket, old kitchen bowl…whatever! Find a notepad or chop up some paper and gather some pens; you are ready! Go ahead…put in ONE blessing right now. Like today’s survival, eyesight, wisdom to read, Jesus…you get it!
For my jar, I added Momma’s favorite roses, happy ribbons, and a colorful note to an old vase. I keep it in plain sight because God’s blessings are my greatest possessions!
I promise you, God wants to just dump His blessings on you every day; you are His child; His love is powerful, consistent, and always there for you.
Here are some benefits of a blessings jar.
#1 Visual reminder of God’s goodness. Our adversary does not want us to count blessings and he WILL try to discourage your progress.
#2 Teaches our families to honor God with our thankfulness.
#3 Literally pulls us out of the pit by reminding us of our Father’s blessings.
#4 Re-inforces our witness to others as we keep His blessings in our hearts and minds.
#5 So much more… why don’t you list a few here?

If you struggle with what to write, consider the thoughts in this poem by the world-renowned Author Unknown.

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;  Count your gains instead of your losses. Count your joys instead of your woes; Count your friends instead of your foes. Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your fears. Count your full years instead of your lean; Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.  Count your health instead of your wealth;  Count on God instead of yourself.

YOU are a blessing to me,

Hugs,