Category Archives: Help

4 Lessons From Caregiver Turned Caree

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4 lessons from a caregiver turned careeA very personal story from a new perspective.

Over-the-counter medicines were of no avail. September 28 I headed for the local clinic to get help with my congestion. I had no intention of being gone more than an hour or so.

Before I knew it, I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Forty (40) days later I returned with oxygen, home health, and a calendar filled with medical appointments. One collapsed lung, pneumonia and other related issues. From eight days in ICU, hospital stay, and four weeks in rehab, I gained a new perspective on what it means to be the one receiving the care.

Exciting end of journey at the close of this article. I pray the following list will give you a new perspective as you care for those you love—and for yourself!

#1 Priorities can change without warning. I walked away from two desks and a table piled high with what I was sure were very important projects for me to finish. My computer and the five e-mail addresses that I checked daily (a few times each day) would go untouched for forty days! My husband, who depended on me to fix meals, keep house, and run the office would suddenly be the one in charge of everything!

Surprisingly, life went on without me. While I lay in that hospital bed praying to get well, my husband managed to maintain the home and business while visiting me each day.

#2 You may have to learn to depend on others. I am independent to a fault. It is difficult to ask for help or accept it when offered. My four weeks in rehab began with me in a wheelchair; someone else deciding where I would go and when. My private life gave way to the bidding of nurses, CNAs, and therapists. I never wanted to change in front of someone and now strangers were giving me a shower.

Although this was difficult for me to accept, I knew it was for my good. I am so thankful for those who cared for me, and accepted me warts and all!

#3 Visitors are not always a good thing. My doctors and my husband agreed that I should not have visitors for several weeks. I needed time to adjust and hospital staff needed freedom to do their jobs. After I began feeling better, I was ready for some short visits from friends and family. Even then, I tired easily and was ready to rest when they left.

I continue to be amazed at how quickly my life changed. I was busy, very busy, daylight to dark and beyond. Now, it was taxing to get through a few hours without rest.

#4 Cards are always a good thing. I received cards everyday; and was thankful for them. The hours spent alone in that tiny room brightened as I read and re-read the sentiments on each one. I prayed for those who took the time to send them. I praised God for His love shown through them.

I have sent cards often; now I realize their value and will be more careful to continue. Again, I praise God for how He shows His love in such simple ways.

And now, as promised, the end of the journey; or is this the beginning?

God allowed me to have ample time to rest and recoup. He protected me in so many ways; my lack of oxygen over several months could have caused so much internal damage. He provided me great care and therapy—continuing still—and has given me renewed strength and determination to care for myself.

I am still on oxygen for a bit; not all the time. My blood pressure and other meds was cut in half, and the breathing treatments will be temporary as I continue to mend. I’m still very, very tired but so thankful to be improving each day.

Sunday I will go to church with my husband for the first time since September, snow or no snow! I will worship my Lord and Savior with new gusto. I am indeed thankful this holiday season!

Hugs and blessings,

Shopping for gifts? Don’t forget a copy of My Mother My Child with discussion guide; great reading and valuable tool for those you love.

 

5 Keys to Safe Uncluttered Living Areas

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5 keys to safe uncluttered living areas

Simple solutions to safe, uncluttered living areas.

Needs change as you care for a loved one; whether in their home or yours. It can be overwhelming to maintain a safe, uncluttered environment. Here are five simple ways to make living areas more enjoyable for everyone in the household.

Actions depend on several factors:
Is the person you are caring for confined to a room or the entire home? What about their mobility; move on their own? With a walker? Wheelchair?

Critical easy to-do list for every family. For this article we will assume an elderly person is able to move around on his/her own with some assistance from walker or chair.

#1 FLOORS: Are they easy to navigate or are they slippery or rough? Did you remove any area (aptly called throw) rugs. Do they have appropriate footwear, not slippery soles, etc.?

#2 FURNITURE: Are there small tables, plants or other items that would be easily tipped over or tripped on when one is going to the bathroom or kitchen? What about shelving units near the traffic area? Are they top heavy? Securely in place?

#3 LAMPS & ELECTRONICS: Are lamps easy to reach and turn on and off? Is the phone in reach, if applicable? Can they turn on the radio or television? Is the traffic area clear of cords?

#4 PERSONAL NEEDS: Is there a small tray or table for books and personal needs within reach? Does your loved one have access to water or have a pitcher and water cup handy? Is a box of tissue or some paper towels?

#5 MIRRORS: Do they enjoy seeing themselves in the mirror? Or does their reflection in the mirror bother them? (My mother enjoyed the mirrors, others may be frightened by the images they see or the movement as they pass by.)

Caring for others is a lifetime learning experience. Small things that we never even consider can be overwhelming to someone who is ill or elderly.

Another note on keeping others comfortable as you care for them: sit a spell in their chair. Seriously. One day I sat in Mother’s chair to rest a bit from cleaning. I was shocked to realize how uncomfortable it was. It looked just fine but the cushions were worn and back support was nil. A new chair was ordered right away. Take time to sit where they sit; look at what they see everyday. How can you improve their environment?

Have a great week; let me hear from you soon.

Hugs,

Have you checked out my articles in the Springfield Writer’s Guild Anthology yet? You’ll enjoy Creative Collections.

6 Keys to Easing Strained Relationships

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6 Keys to Easing Strained RelationshipsTreasure what you have now; be ready for change.

My husband was my greatest encourager during the years we were caring for Mother. He was always ready to help me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He carefully guided me through each decision but let me make the final call.

We had spoiled each other—we enjoyed talking, playing, and working together. At first Mother’s care was minimal and my husband and I continued our daily routines. I never realized how our relationship suffered as I gradually spent more time and energy on her needs and less on his. Although this shift was inevitable, I learned some simple tips that made the changes easier. Perhaps these tips will help you in your situation.

Become aware of your specific needs; then act.

#1. Take time to ask your family or friends how the current situation affects them. Do they feel slighted? Are there needs they have you can still provide? Do they feel left out?

#2. Realize you cannot go back to the way it was; life does not stay the same for anyone. The commitment to care for someone means your life and those around you will change.

Grow better or bitter, the choice is ultimately yours.

My husband is precious, but he does not prepare meals, do laundry, or make the beds. That wasn’t an issue with the two of us; or with the children home. After Mom came, I did, however, catch myself envying those whose husbands could help in that way. Note: the Lord has a way of reminding us what really matters, and it’s not that sink of dirty dishes!

#3. Refuse to dwell on what you cannot change. Live in the present and make the most of it. Be open to new ideas, new ways of doing things. If you are set in your ways like I am, this can be a difficult step, but well worth the journey. I remind myself daily, it is people and not things that are important.

#4. Develop a new plan. What is it that you can do to encourage those around you? Does it seem you are pushing them away because of your busy-ness? Can you change your schedule to accommodate some of their needs as well?

#5. Accept help when offered, even when you know the task will not be done “right”. This was difficult for me. I learned it was okay if the towels were folded incorrectly or dishes and groceries were put in the wrong places.

#6. Find a smile and see it reflected time and again on those around you. I am always amazed at the difference a simple smile makes. Try it on yourself—right now. Face a mirror with your eyes closed, smile real big and look at yourself. (Did you chuckle?)

There will always be changes in our lives. Parents, kids, grandkids, other family and friends move in and out of our lives seeking love and nurturing. With God’s help we can learn to look up instead of down and enjoy the journey.

Hugs,

(Information for this article was taken from my book, MY MOTHER MY CHILD.)