Introduction

   “Surely I will never have to take care of my mother when she gets old. Can you imagine
what she will be like? She is so independent and quick tempered. She will be a real
challenge for anyone to care for.
   "I couldn’t do it, I just couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t even try!”
   How clearly those words rang in my ears as I stood over Mother’s bed, not knowing if she
would live or die. We had taken her to the emergency room after she suddenly began
hemorrhaging and she was immediately admitted to the hospital. Mother had congestive
heart failure and her overall health was not good. She did not seem to have the strength or
the will to fight this latest battle. The doctors said that she had continued to weaken, and I
should prepare for the worst.
   As I watched what had been such a strong-willed person seem to wilt before my eyes, my
whole being just wanted to swoop her up into my arms and rock her gently as she did me so
many times. Mother was loving and nurturing, always giving generously to her family and
friends.
   Never once had I heard harmful words come from her mouth as she faithfully cared for her
aging parents and so many others. Tears flowed freely as I stroked her brow and thought of
those hurtful words and how carelessly I had uttered them. Warm drops fell on her face as I
kissed her cheeks. She was entirely helpless and completely dependent on those around her
for care. How could her only daughter ever have had such feelings or dare express them to
someone else.
   My heart broke again and again as I prayed. “Lord, please forgive me for ever saying
such a thing about her. Forgive me for my selfish attitude and my uncaring ways. And,
Heavenly Father, if You just let her live, I promise to care for her with all I have for as long as
it takes until You see fit to take her home.”
   Week after week, I spent many hours in prayer receiving God’s forgiveness and begging
Him in His grace to allow us some time together. This was all too sudden and I was
unprepared to let her go. Night and day I was at Mother’s bedside, holding her hand,
stroking her forehead, and kissing her cheek. Tears flowed freely and often as I recounted
precious memories from days gone by.
   My husband, Russell, and I had lived in California for ten years. Our short annual trips
home had offered little time to spend with my mother. Now, after moving back to Missouri and
living just two hours away from Mother, I thought we would finally be able to make up for lost
time. Perhaps we could go sight-seeing and shopping; maybe out to eat and once again
enjoy great times together. Watching her struggle in this hospital for her very life was not a
part of my plan. Hopes and dreams shattered as life suddenly changed for all of us in ways
we could not imagine.
   God was merciful; after seven long weeks of ups and downs, Mother was released from the
hospital and came to live with us for eight wonderful years. This book is about those years
and the trials and triumphs of caring for her through the many changes that ensued. It’s
about those tender truths God taught me about myself as He and I journeyed together.
   This book is not meant to be an instruction manual to help in caring for someone. There
are volumes available on the practical aspects of elder care. This book is an opportunity for
me to relate openly and honestly the struggles and the victories of life with a parent who
suddenly becomes your child. My intent is simply to share my heart in hopes that others
may relate and perhaps be helped by knowing they are not in this alone.